*******I wrote this post when I was 6-7 weeks.
Early this morning (Tuesday, October 13, 2015) I had an appointment to see how things were progressing with the pregnancy. We knew I’d be about 6 weeks along at this point and would leave the the hospital knowing if our baby had a heartbeat or not. Last night, while we laid in the darkness, I cried while Tyler held me tight as I was filled with so many emotions. I was quiet, yet anxious as we made our way to the hospital, but Tyler kept reassuring me that everything would be okay no matter what.
After we were called back, I undressed from the waist down and the doctor and nurse promptly came into the room to set up the ultrasound. Tyler was sitting in a chair to the right of my head. As the doctor started doing the (vaginal) ultrasound, I looked back and forth between her face, the nurses, and the screen. Perhaps it was their blank stares and that I felt like it was taking a while, but I honestly thought that was it. It immediately took me back to the moment we had two years ago when we found out I had miscarried. I laid my head back on the bed and closed my eyes…then suddenly I heard her ask if we wanted to hear the heartbeat.
“There’s a heartbeat?!!!!” came flying out of my mouth and my husband stood up and grabbed my hand (he didn’t know what was going on as he didn’t have a good view from where he was sitting). Tears instantly started flowing down my face and the doctor continued on. She showed us the (very tiny!) baby, the heartbeat (125 bpm), and printed out some pictures for us. This was just the beginning of many, many milestones, but seeing and hearing the flickering heartbeat was the most beautiful thing in the world.
As soon as the doctor left the room, Tyler reached down to hug and kiss me. It’s tender moments like this that are so raw and unexplainable and that will forever be instilled into my mind. I’m by no means saying that our marriage is stronger or grander than anyone else’s, but I believe that the trials and tribulations that we have gone through together over the past two and a half years made that moment so much sweeter.
Based on my LMP (last menstrual period), I would be 7 weeks 3 days today. However, because I was still keeping track of my LH surge with OPK’s, I knew I ovulated around cycle day 19 or so which would make me 6 weeks 5 days. That time measures up perfectly with the ultrasound, so that is what the doctor is going with. Thankfully, my doctor is having me come in weekly for ultrasounds because of our prior miscarriage being so late into the first trimester.
I know this is just the beginning, and until we are holding our healthy baby in our arms, we will continue to hold our breath and keep one foot on the ground. This is the one of many hurdles we must pass, but each one that we DO exceed gives us inklings of hope.
****I wanted to note that I will not be sharing many ultrasound photos. We were lucky enough to get one at each appointment we had during the first trimester, but I know very well that seeing those pictures can be triggering. I did use one as part of our pregnancy announcement, but that day was SO special and dear to us as I had surpassed the first pregnancy and it brought us a sense of optimism and serenity that day. I will also note at the beginning of each post if I’m sharing a bump photo. XOXO.