Today I want to start reflecting back on the past few months. To be honest, I wanted to do week by week pregnancy updates but I was just too damn afraid. As crazy as it sounds, we didn’t want to jinx anything, and as awful as this may seem, I didn’t want to get too attached. However, I did jot down some things in the notes section of my phone, so I’m going to recap the first several weeks the best I can! 🙂
Before I begin, I’m in NO way complaining about anything. It probably sounds crazy to those that can’t relate, but I actually thrived on the morning sickness as it was a beautiful reminder that I was pregnant, and I would get worried when I had a few hours of no nausea. I’m honest in all of my posts, but you’ll never hear me say stuff like “I feel like such shit- I can’t wait for this to be over” or “I feel as fat as a house”. I’m not the best human being in the world, but I have enough common sense and courtesy to know that many women would do literally anything to experience pregnancy, and I will never take this blessing for granted, even if I do reach the point of feeling like a whale one day. My blood would boil reading pregnancy complaints on Facebook, and it took me everything not to leave a snide remark (I knew I was often times emotional and irrational as well).
Okay, here we go 🙂
Work Update- I was still working full-time until about two weeks after we found out. Once I got the positive pregnancy test and calmed down, I started thinking about whether leaving my position was for the best (if you recall, I was leaving to do IVF out of state and we were going to be doing a frozen transfer. I worked in management for a global retail company and time off and low stress during the holiday season is pretty much non-existent). We didn’t know how the pregnancy was going to go, but we did know that my OB was going to do weekly appointments to check the baby and I was going to continue doing acupuncture. I didn’t want to burden other managers with needing certain times off either. It was finally decided that it was best to leave, although my husband wasn’t wild about the idea. I know many women work full-time during pregnancy and it’s no big deal…but I wanted to do everything in my power to make this pregnancy work and not look back thinking “what if” if something bad happened again. While a dual income is nice, I’m SO thankful for the opportunity to stay home for the time being. We should be moving in early 2016 anyways…and I hope to never work in that field again, haha 😉
Food Aversions- Aversions started around 5 weeks and morning sickness kicked in full gear around 7 weeks. If you know me, you know I eat pretty darn healthy 90% of the time. Well, that all went out the window and the thought of literally 99% of the things I used to eat sounded effing disgusting, haha. No vegetables, no fruits but apples, no poultry, nothing whole wheat, no Greek yogurt, no nut butters, and nothing with strong smell or taste sounded appealing at all. I’d literally lay there thinking of every possible food in the world that sounded okay. My husband is the worst suggestion giver by the way as he’d say things like Chinese or wings…shit I NEVER eat normally and that certainly isn’t bland, haha.
Food Cravings- I didn’t have any cravings at all during this time. I’d eat whatever I thought I could tolerate, and little meals throughout the day worked better (and still do!) to help manage the sickness. So what DID I eat and drink?! Saltines, whole grain goldfish crackers, bagels with cream cheese, scrambled eggs with buttered toast, plain Cheerios (how these are normally appetizing to anyone is beyond me!), regular yogurt (low sugar), broth-y soup such as chicken and wild rice or chicken and dumpling (but I couldn’t eat the chicken in them) cheese and crackers, and mac and cheese. Basically a bunch of bland carbs 😉 Also, absolutely nothing sweet sounded good. I normally have a sweet tooth but the thought of any type of dessert would gag me. And I’d drink nothing but cold water, but plain ol’ regular milk sounded good around week 10, so I picked up a half gallon of that and had a glass every evening.
How I’m Feeling Physically- I got sick almost every day. If I didn’t actually throw up, I’d be dry-heaving (sexy, I know), and this went on all day and sometimes throughout the night. Eating meals and snacks high in protein are supposed to help with morning sickness so I tried the best I could to make sure I was getting some kind of protein throughout the day…but it was hard. The mere thought of even leaving my house to go anywhere sounded daunting and I’d often times bring a plastic bag with me just in case. Luckily, I never needed to use one! I had a handful of headaches which is very unusual for me, but I’d just drink plenty of water and relax when they’d come about.
How I’m Feeling Emotionally- Feelings of fear and anxiety surfaced every day. I’d cry because I was so happy and cry because I was terrified. My stomach would be in knots the night before and morning of each doctor’s appointment. Tyler and I also discussed when to share our news with close family, friends, and then let the news fly free on social media. In our first pregnancy, we told family very early on- around 6 or 7 weeks, and then publically announced it at 10 weeks. We both agreed we didn’t want to do it that early this time around. My mom knew from the get-go, and we slowly started telling close family members between 10-13 weeks. Although it’s such an exciting time, I didn’t realize how timid I’d be to share this news.
Sleep- Exhaustion kicked in almost immediately, and I’d take naps every day until about week 10. I’d typically sleep from about 8:30pm-6:30 0r 7am as well. Although I’ve had very vivid, weird dreams (people I haven’t seen or spoke to in years have found their way into them…freaking spooky!) and woke up typically 2-3 times a night to pee, I slept very well.
Workouts- Umm, running back and forth to the bathroom? Haha, not much on the workout front. I stopped HIIT workouts and long distance running when we started having trouble conceiving, so my workouts the past year and a half have been moderate interval cardio and weights. Nothing crazy, but I truly believe my body was just being worked so hard. I look back at photos and see how emancipated I looked at certain times, and I know it was due to over exercising, eating way too healthy, stress (I have no appetite when I’m stressed), and probably being slightly depressed. I worked out during the first pregnancy- running and doing weights 5 days a week, and while I know that didn’t contribute to miscarrying (my doctor said it was fine to stick with the same exercise regimen since I was doing it pre-pregnancy), I wanted to be more conservative this time around. I’d take Wrigley for walks and walk on the treadmill at an incline a few times a week and still did light weights. That’s it- and while I wasn’t feeling great physically, it felt fucking fabulous to just relax 😉
Best Moment- Hearing the baby’s heartbeat! Also, having Tyler home as he was gone the first two weeks.
Other Thoughts- This is odd, but I started sneezing SO much around week 7. This has continued since then. I’m not sick and my house is clean, but I googled it and it’s normal, haha. Around week 8 I started needing to spit. Like a lot. I know nausea has something to do with this- my mouth would instantly just fill up and while I tried my best to swallow it, the thought made me sick so I’d often spit (that sounds very wrong, haha). I googled that as well and it’s common during pregnancy so at least I know I’m not too weird 😉
So that’s it! I don’t have any bump photos from this time because there was no bump- just bloat 😉 I know some women include the weight gained so far in their pregnancy updates, but I’m not doing that. My priority is a healthy baby and a healthy me 🙂
Hope everyone has a great day!