A Look Back at 2016

I have to admit, though I stepped away from my blog earlier this year, I miss writing out my thoughts once in a while. I know I could easily utilize a personal journal, but it’s sometimes nice to share things with others. However, I’ve reached a point in my life where I really don’t have too much to say and I’ve become much more private. I’m a different person than I was when I created this little space, and while I’m happy knowing that I’ve evolved, sometimes you just outgrow things, ya know? I went back and forth with this as I was leaning towards giving blogging another go this past summer- I even purchased a new domain in my name, lol. I had plans of sharing posts about parenthood and military life- mostly just tips and tricks that I’ve learned along the way. After brainstorming and outlining a ton of potential posts, I woke up one morning and decided I had absolutely no desire to do this, haha. I truly do think our society is too caught up in social media and I sometimes want to delete my Facebook and Instagram accounts and completely live off the map. I’m not making excuses, but honestly, if I lived in my hometown I really think I’d do this because I’d see family and friends much more often.

Though I think social media is absolutely ridiculous with all the filters people use, the bullshit they post to make themselves feel important or better about themselves, and the drama it creates, it actually helps me stay connected with those I care about most. I’m NOT much of a social person- I can make myself be in a professional environment or when it’s mandatory, but I’m quite content with my small circle of friends and family ๐Ÿ™‚ Regardless, it’s cool (and sometimes appalling, haha) to look back on old posts and see what was going on in my life at certain times, and today I want to write the highlights of each month during 2016. It was an amazing year and I don’t want to forget it!

January-ย  I celebrated my 30th birthday being 20 weeks pregnant! Tyler and I took photos announcing that our rainbow baby was a GIRL and shared those a few days later. We had known since early November and keeping it between us for two months was hard but exciting!. On my birthday, we went out to breakfast at one of my favorite restaurants in El Paso, Ripe, then stopped at Babies R Us on our way home. I bought the cutest outfit for Savannah that I thought we’d take her home in, but baby girl ended up being a tiny little thing and it didn’t fit her until she was two months old, haha. Later that afternoon, we went to the movies to see The Reverent and I ate a big ass pretzel with cheese…my favorite! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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February- We said goodbye to El Paso after living there for over 3.5 years and PCSed to Arizona! Luckily, this move was only 5 hours away. I was still suffering from morning (all day) sickness at this time and I vividly remember laying on the mattress in our spare room feeling so nauseous while the packers packed up all of our stuff, haha. We thought this move was only going to be for seven months, but Tyler was offered an amazing opportunity that extended our stay to a full year as he had to attend an additional school for it here. Most of this month consisted of unpacking and organizing, having a garage sale, and learning our way around our new town and surrounding areas.

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March- We flew home to see family and friends and celebrate our new addition. We had our baby shower and it was a fun and relaxing week. We celebrated Tyler’s 33rd birthday and I finally felt great most of the time- my morning sickness finally subsided! Since the Cubs have their Spring Training in Mesa, we couldn’t leave the state without going to another game. Fun fact: we went to a Spring Training game a few years ago when the Cubbies played the Kansas City Royals who ended up winning the World Series that year. This year, the game we went to was at Goodyear Ballpark where they played the Cleveland Indians…and they both went on to play in the championship game against each other!

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April- April was filled with DIY projects and getting the nursery ready. I took a photography class that was offered on post to learn how to use our Nikon better….which I have yet to use consistently ๐Ÿ˜‰ I was starting to feel quite pregnant by then, but I went on daily walks and spent most of my day relaxing and going through ALL of our shit, purging a ton, and reorganizing literally every closet, cabinet, and drawer in the house. It felt so good! We also had quite a few scares this month and I started having contractions regularly, so I was told to take it easy.

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May- The absolute BEST month of the year! Savannah Claire arrived on May 24 at 1:30 A.M. after just 3 hours of labor! You can read all about her birth story HERE. I’ve never been so ecstatic and scared in my entire life, haha.

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June- This month flew by in a complete blur. My mom flew in a week after Savannah was born and was a tremendous help. I was so sleep deprived and my hormones were out of this world…it was such a surreal time. My brother and sister visited at the end of the month, and things were a little better then, but we were still learning Savannah’s cues and what the hell to do. We took Savannah to Coronado National Memorial with my mom and Tombstone with my brother and sister which was fun!

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July- Tyler’s parents and sister and family visited. I started real estate classes at the beginning of the month (Anna was just six weeks old!) and was gone three nights a week. This month honestly flew by and I don’t remember much of it…still sleep deprived and hormones trying to balance out ๐Ÿ˜‰ We learned at the end of the month that we will be PCSing to Alabama in February. I was a bit hesitant about this first- I mean, Alabama?? haha- but I know now those were ignorant thoughts. This opportunity is amazing for Tyler’s career which is most important. Plus, we will only be nine hours from home! Unless we’re stationed at Campbell or Knox (very unlikely) one day, we will never be closer to home again.

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August- Finally feel like I’m starting to get the hang of things a bit! I started really putting the baby on a schedule at the beginning of the month and it helped SO much! I finished up real estate classes the end of August. Although I plan on obtaining my Alabama license as well, I have no idea if I’ll actually end up dabbling in real estate (this is a topic for another time, but 2017 will be devoted to more time focusing on myself and my career endeavors). I want to be home with Savannah as much as possible until she’s a few years old, so I’m not sure if a full-time job is right…but I also want a consistent paycheck and a routine schedule, whereas you don’t have that in real estate. Plus, I won’t know the new area AT ALL which is huge- no one is gonna want to work with an agent who’s only lived there a few months, haha. Ok, I’m rambling!

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September- This was a busy yet great month! Tyler graduated from Captain Career Course- SO proud of him! It was a short but sweet ceremony and such a great moment being there with him while holding our daughter. My dad and his girlfriend came to visit us a few days later. We went out to eat a few times, showed them around post, and visited Tombstone again. My dad has been talking about Tombstone for years, so it was awesome to have the chance to take him there. He also took Savannah swimming for the very first time! It was so cute and I’ll always remember it ๐Ÿ™‚ A few days after they left, Tyler randomly decided that we were going to take a quick trip to see the Grand Canyon. He had been there a few times before but I hadn’t, and I’d been asking him to take me ever since moving out west over four years ago. I’m glad we waited though- it was cool to visit for the first time with Savannah. She did great on the 6-7 hour car ride, and after driving around the canyon for a bit and taking some photos, we headed back down to Flagstaff for the night. It was a quick, yet memorable trip!

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October- This month was relaxing and low-key. Tyler was working long hours due to his new class and we didn’t do much which was fine by me. Savannah was Cheer Bear for Halloween (I love me some Care Bears) and I made her little costume!

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November- I flew home the first week of November. Tyler was still working really long hours and family missed Savannah, so it was great to get away for it bit. She did better than I expected on the three hour plane ride and time change, but was super weary of everyone at first. I felt so bad because she just wanted me, but Tyler and I are all she really knows- and I’m her mommy! She did lighten up as the days went on, but I’m really hoping she will start opening up as she starts seeing family and friends more often once we move. Anyways, it was a great time and I loved seeing everyone get to meet her! We celebrated Thanksgiving at home and Wrigley’s fourth birthday a few days later.

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December- This month has been spent preparing for my upcoming visit to Alabama to pick out our new home (exciting yet terrifying to finally buy!) and getting things ready for the move. Tyler has luckily had a ton of short work days/time off because of the holidays, and while we sometimes too much time together can be a bad thing for us (just being honest, haha), it’s been quite nice! He didn’t want me vocalizing this as he hates attention, but he finished graduate school a few weeks ago. I’m incredibly proud of this man. I have met very few people who are as motivated and determined as he is (not to mention intelligent, financially savvy, and hot!)- he finished his degree in just over two years and was deployed during one of them ๐Ÿ™‚ We took Savannah to see Santa Claus for the first time and she could have cared less and had a really relaxing Christmas with just the three of us!

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I don’t want it to seem like 2016 was all rainbows and butterflies because that’s definitely not the case. We’ve had some health issues that touched our family and friends. We had arguments and really low times. I had bad postpartum anxiety and finally sought help in November for it. My depression came back, but I don’t want to say it was postpartum depression because it’s something I have struggled with off and on for years, and I believed it has stemmed from figuring out who I am. Yes, I’m a wife, a mommy, a daughter, a sister, a friend, etc., but there is still something missing in my life and I was/am having a hard time with being a stay at home wife/mom. Don’t get me wrong- I’m extremely grateful that we can live comfortably off of Tyler’s income (I know some people complain about soldiers’ pay, but there are many benefits of being active duty, including the health insurance coverage!).

I want to stay at home with Savannah during her first two years or so. We don’t know if we will have any more children and I know I would regret finding full-time work when she’s so young- I LOVE being the one that’s with her all day and I’ve waited for these moments for a while. At the same time, I don’t want to be out of the workforce for too long and I want to find a career that motivates me. I’m in no way knocking women who’s only desire was to be a stay at home mom or those that worked full-time their children’s entire lives- to each their own. I hope to really focus on myself this upcoming year and find a balance personally and professionally. I never wanted to “depend” on a man financially, and that’s what I’ve been doing and it’s scary to me. While I hope things always remain the way they are, we simply cannot predict the future and I not only want to be able to contribute to our family financially, I want to know that I can be financially independent and take care of myself and Savannah without worry.

2017 will be a new slate for us and I can’t wait! A new city, Tyler’s new job, making more memories with our families, and focusing on my future endeavors will definitely keep us busy. Despite the nasty election and the loss of many famous icons, I hope this past year was touched with some good for you all. Wishing everyone a healthy, happy, and safe new year!

 

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Visitors After the Baby’s Arrival

I know visitor’s after the baby’s arrival can be a big issue for couples (Iย even googled it and there are a ton of discussion boards with venting wives, lol)ย and I’ve been asked a handful of times my stance on it, so that’s what I want to discuss today. I think it’s super important for spouses to be on the same page regarding and it’s something that should be discussed before the baby is born. The last thing you need is arguing with each other during an already stressful (yet amazing!) time if it could’ve been prevented.

Tyler and I are in a different situation that many couples because we live across the country from literally all family and close friends. That being said, we won’t have the issues with people just dropping by unannounced or last minute which is good in a way because that would probablyย drive me freaking crazy, haha. I’ve written about it several times, but if you don’t already know, I have anxiety issues which have gotten much better, but they’re still there. I liked things planned ahead as much as possible ๐Ÿ˜‰ Anyways, this also means that family or friends will be flying in to see us which is awesome but can be overwhelming as well. That being said, I think it’s best that family comes down in cycles and thatย their visits do not overlap with each other.

Tyler and I downsized when we moved to Arizona. Though we have three bedrooms, they’re SMALL. We have our master, baby girl has her nursery and we have the spare room as the computer/treadmill/movie/army room. We physically were not able to have an extra bedroom for guests, but we honestly didn’t have many visitors in El Paso anyways and this time we’re only here for 8-9 months (will be moving again in September/October). That being said, we can’t have anyone staying with us when they visit. My brother and sister will be staying here- they’re young and I’d never expect them to pay for a hotel. Plus, they could care less if they slept on the couch or air mattress for a week! I can also tell them when they’re annoying the crap out of me and don’t feel like I have to entertain them or that they’ll be judging me on my new mothering, haha ๐Ÿ˜‰ Just kidding…kinda ๐Ÿ™‚

They’ll be here from June 25-July 3 which I think is great timing. If the baby comes on time, that gives us a month to get used to being with her by ourselves, learn her cues, etc. And I’m pretty sure that I won’t want to be taking her out the first few weeks. I’m hoping not to be an overprotective parent, but I really don’t see the point of taking a newborn out unless necessary. There isn’t much to do or good places to eat in our town anyways, haha.

My dad and his girlfriend plan on coming down in late July or August. That’ll be nice because by then I should hopefully be catching on to thingsย a bit. My mom is kinda on stand-by- she said she’ll be here whenever I want her to. We don’t think that Tyler will get the normal 10 day leave that you get in the military after your spouse has a baby. This is because Tyler is not in the “regular” army right now (I forgot the technical term)- he’s in Captain Career Course which is a six month school that can’t be interrupted. There may be some way to get around this, but this would prolong our stay here a bit, his graduation date, and I really want him to do what’s best for him. He won’t be deployed or in the field and I know he’ll be helping out as much as possible when he’s home (CCC means normal hours!). I’m thinking I want my mom to come right before or after my brother and sister…but it really all depends on when she makes her debut. If she comes early, then definitely before! Ideally, I’d like her to come about two weeks after she’s born (she’ll need to give work a heads up!), but we shall see.

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I’m eager and nervous to see how the dogs, especially Wrigley, react to the baby…

We’re super excited to have visitor’s this summer and for everyone to meet our new addition! I just want everyone to be happy and feel like they had sufficient time with us and her and not have to worry about “sharing”, lol, if that makes sense. We should find out where we PCS to next in June or July, and if possible, we want to visit home after that move. It all depends on where we are located. If it does work out, I’m hoping we will have her baptized then. My dad’s side of the family is Catholic, and my brother, sister, and I were all baptized and had our Communions and Confirmations. Though I’m not an active church-goer, it’s important to me that she’s baptized, and my best friend’s father is a Deacon at the Catholic church we used to go to. I think it’d be so awesome to have him do it! I’m getting ahead of myself though, haha.

We also bought a camera so that family or friends will be able to see the baby when we turn it on and she’s within range. At first I was super hesitant about this. I thought Tyler wanted it running all the time so family would be able to see her whenever they wanted. That definitely was not okay by me. I mean, what if I was breastfeeding her and my boobs were poppin out? Or she was having a crying fit and I couldn’t get her to stop? Or….I could list a ton of other scenarios that just wouldn’t be cool. He assured me that there will be certain times and we’ll let family know when we’ll be turning it on. I thought this was pretty much the same thing as Skype or FaceTime, but I just let him buy it and set it up if it’ll make him happy ๐Ÿ˜‰

I’ll be sharing the nursery post next week so check back! Hope everyone has a great weekend.

What are your thoughts on visitor’s after having the baby?

Did you and your spouse have a plan? Was it difficult to come to an agreement?

Have any stories you want to share or advice for me?

 

Life Lately- February 2016

I’ve been pretty much just writing solely about pregnancy lately (sorry about that, but I have lots to say about various aspects of it!), and haven’t given an update about what else is going on with us. So that’s what I’m going to do today ๐Ÿ™‚

While I’ve done some posts about the military life and deployment, I don’t talk about my husband’s career on here very much. However, he got promoted to Captain back in November and to say I’m super proud of him is an understatement! Once you get Captain, you go to Captain Career Course in whatever branch you’re in. My husband spent his time as a second and first Lieutenant in Field Artillery but will be Military Intelligence for the remainder of his career. Which brings me to our next topic…wemoved to Arizona!

The school he will attend is at a post in Arizona and because the move is a PCS (permanent change of station) versus a TDY (temporary duty station), I was able to go with ๐Ÿ™‚ You get a choice of what kind of move you want when you’re in the military- a DITY move which is where you pack everything yourself and move everything yourself then get reimbursed for the cost or a move where the military hires a company to come out and pack up all of your shit then a moving company comes and moves it all for you to your designated location.

We’ve never done and more than likely never will do a DITY move, but I’ve heard a lot of people say they make money off the move by doing it themselves. However, I couldn’t imagine packing our entire house with a full-time job every few months or couple of years. You’re in full control of your belongings as well and some people have had bad experiences with items getting damaged along the way. We’ve had a few pieces of furniture get a little banged up, but nothing crazy. You have to load and unload all of your furniture (I guess a lot of people get their friend to help them; however), but I’m wondering how the heck people unload everything themselves if they don’t know anyone at their next duty station? We have some nice, heavy, big ass furniture that was pretty hard to move, haha. Ive heard some people have to wait a while to get their stuff delivered to their new place, but I don’t see the big deal. It’s not like I’m going to die without my house full of shit for a week or two ๐Ÿ˜‰ Tyler’s done a handful of PCS’s, one even being to Italy, so I guess he’s one of the lucky ones that has never had an issue with packers or movers. Anyways….

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What you have to do for fun when there’s no TV and you’re sleeping on a mattress, haha.

We are LOVING our new location! It’ll be nice to get out of the Southwest one day (we PCS again in September or October- only here for about 8-9 months), but it just feels so much cleaner and prettier out here (sorry El Paso, friends!). It is a much smaller town- slow paced and laid back which just feels so right at this time in our lives. There’s a Target, Walmart, Marshalls, Ross, Hobby Lobby, small mall with a movie theater, Home Depot and Loews, Petsmart and a few chain restaurants (I like local restaurants better, but oh well. We ate out a lot during the moving transition and I’m so over it for a while anyways, haha). I actually like how there are limited shopping options out here and was surprised that there’s a Hobby Lobby which is perfect as there are a few things I want to make for the baby!

I love our neighborhood (there is an HOA so neighbors can’t be complete hillbillies like at our last place!) and we’ve met one set of neighbors that are super nice. Large sidewalks are on the side of the streets and there’s a nature path- we’ve already gone on a few bike rides together and Tyler’s been running. We have a view of the mountains from the back of our house and it’s awesome to look out our bedroom window or sit out on our patio and see such peace ๐Ÿ™‚ The dogs are loving it, too. The living room and bedrooms (aside from ours) is carpeted. Our old house was all tile and they seem to like the carpet much better…although I’m anal and vacuum every other day.

View of our entryway. That puzzle of Times Square in that hallway doesn’t match, but we put it together (1000 pieces, FML) right after Tyler got home from his deployment. It was an awesome thing to do to help bond again!

Post is obviously much smaller than Fort Bliss. Fort Bliss may not be in the most ideal area, but it’s pretty bad ass- the common area is new (the PX, commissary, a handful of restaurants and shopping, and movie theater) and I’ve heard there is no other post like it yet as it was the first. I still don’t know my way around post yet but I can’t get any more lost there than I did on Bliss, haha. Some people have asked me over the years why we choose to live off post rather than on. I might write a whole blog entry about it, but for now- we just want to ๐Ÿ™‚ We’ve never lived on (well, Tyler did when he was in the barracks years ago, but that’s different), so I’m not saying one is better than the other. However, when Tyler is done with work he wants to be done and not surrounded by all things army. We also like receiving a BAH (basic housing allowance) that goes towards covering the cost of rent or a mortgage. We rented in El Paso and are renting here, but are hoping to purchase a home at our next duty station depending on where it’s at. We don’t use our entire BAH for rent- you have to think about utilities as well so you’re not overspending. You can actually make some money if your living arrangements cost less than what your BAH is. Ok, that’s enough about that. Boring!

What else…Tyler started two more grad school classes last week and only has two more left until he’s done with his Masters! The last two are capstone classes which he’ll have to write a thesis for, so with that, CCC, and a new baby, he’s going to have a busy year! The majority of his grad school classes were covered as well (he’s getting his Masters in Military Intelligence and Management), so that’s pretty damn nice, especially considering that we’re paying a pretty penny on my student loans a month to get them knocked out. He doesn’t like me talking about him regarding this type of stuff, but I’m super proud of him!

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Hot chocolate and iced coffee before exploring Tombstone!

While I’m grateful that I’ve been able to stay home the past few months and continue to do so while the baby is super small, I’m also missing contributing financially and working makes me feel good- like accomplished, if that makes sense. I know it won’t be like this forever, so I’m really trying to take advantage of this time and I know it’ll be amazing once the baby comes. The tentative plan is that I’ll work once we get to our next duty station and the baby will be about 5-6 months old by then which works out perfect!

I think that’s about it. This week we plan on visiting Bisbee (we went to Tombstone and Tuscon last week which was fun!) and getting ready for our trip home. We received out crib and I’ve started a to-do list for after we get home in regards to things I need/want to do before her arrival! Hope everyone has a great week ๐Ÿ™‚

Everybody Hurts….Sometimes

I’ve had bouts of depression and anxiety since high school (maybe longer, but it was at that time that I realized that something wasn’t right). There, I said it. Now I don’t want to act like it’s been absolutely horrible because that’s certainly not the case, but it’s affected me and probably some relationships in my life at some point (and perhaps, still is). Before I go any further, I want to say that I’m obviously no psychologist or therapist, but I’ve seen a handful over the past fifteen years or so. I’ve truly analyzed their perspectives and have taken what they’ve said into consideration. This post is obviously about our path of loss and infertility and how it can be linked with depression and anxiety. However,ย  it can be related to other difficult situations we may encounter throughout our lives.

****If your depression ever gets too deep and you have thoughts of suicide, PLEASE get help. One such number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

We found out about the miscarriage on September 10, 2015. I mentioned many times before that I numbed myself from the pain for many months and used school, working out, and taking on DIY projects and crafts to keep myself busy. Sure, I had days where I didn’t want to get out of bed or times when I cried in the shower, but I made myself switch gears to the “not feeling” mode. It was when we learned that Tyler was going to be deployed within a matter of two weeks in July 2014 that I broke down inside.

I blogged here and there throughout his deployment about military life and gave updates on how my testing and cycles were going. I did open up in some of the posts, but I didn’t discuss how I was really feeling. You see, I’m an open book when it comes to many things in life, but I have trouble talking about my own feelings and feel as though it’s too personal for me. I also don’t like attention, so I tried telling myself that everything was okay. It wasn’t.

While I never had thoughts of hurting myself or suicide (and thankfully, I never have), I was in a really dark place. I finally allowed myself to feel everything I was holding within. And it wasn’t good.

  • The anger about the miscarriage. I was flat out pissed off that our joy was stolen from us out of nowhere. We heard the baby’s heartbeat twice, and I grew connected to him/her which later on I felt so absolutely foolish about.

 

  • The frustration of time. We had been trying again for 8 months before Tyler deployed. So many people told me that women are more fertile after a miscarriage and/or D&C. Well, what the fuck was wrong with me? Then, my husband leaves for 9 months to a war-zone. Nine months is the length of a school year. The duration of a pregnancy. I was frustrated because we were at a standstill, and my anxiety was sky high as I was worried every day for Tyler’s safety. I thought it was cruel of the universe to have us endure the miscarriage, trouble trying to conceive again, then allow a deployment.

 

  • I didn’t feel strong AT ALL. I’d hear it all the time. “You’re so strong” or “How do you do it?” or “I’d never be able to do it”. Ironically, that year was probably the weakest I had ever been in my entire life. More tears were shed, more alcoholic beverages were consumed (this does NOT help depression and anxiety at all, I know that), and more emotions took over me than ever before. However, I hid it. I was fine at work (in fact, probably more than fine)- I put a smile on my face, did what I had to do, and learned a lot, but behind closed doors in my own home was another story.

 

  • Resentfulness. Once my emotions were unleashed and my misery surfaced, I felt resentful towards family and friends that seemed like they didn’t care. Some may say this is selfish, but when you quickly do a downward spiral, you aren’t thinking very clearly or logically. I mean, I knew the whole world wasn’t going to come to a complete halt because Kim felt sad- I’m not an idiot. And if anyone asked how I was doing, you better believe 9 times out of 10 I said okay or good, so how the hell would anyone even know? My mom, aunt, and best friend knew, but they know me. Often times when you over analyze things too much, you create problems that weren’t even there to begin with. Perhaps this is what I did, but I remember thinking, “What is the point of having relationships if people aren’t there in time of need? Losing the baby, month after month of trying and tests, and now husband is across the world and I’m alone in Texas”. Dramatic, I know ๐Ÿ˜‰ But it’s how I felt, and I’m not going to be ashamed about it anymore.

 

  • Jealousy. It is one of the ugliest feelings, yet I felt it often. When I first started working at my job, I’d feel it all the time as children are around a lot. I’d look at their parents and think, “Are you fucking kidding me? How did these dopes get blessed with a kid and we can’t?”. I’m not sure how it happened, but a few months before Tyler got home, I suddenly stopped being jealous and simply thought about how damn cute (or annoying) they were. Social media is another monster in itself. Some people don’t see the big hairy deal about social media and why people get all bent about it. If you’re one of those people, good for you. But back then, I’d think, “This isn’t Facebook- this is freaking Babybook”.

Pregnancy and birth announcements flooded my feed. Before I go any further, let me get one thing clear: Although these announcements put me in tears (or a sob fest depending on how stable I was that day), I was always, and always will be, genuinely happy for the couple. I may have not been doing well myself, but I’d never wish ill upon others. I truly believe that many people are naive to how seeing the announcements (or statuses bitching about pregnancy all the time. It’s one thing to vent once in a while, and believe me- I want to hear about experiences in late pregnancy. Or holding their belly in every.single flipping.photo- it’s like women thing it’s going to fall off or something for Pete’s sake) can be a trigger. If one has only experienced falling pregnant easily and have a happy, healthy pregnancy, they don’t know any better!

The point is, I felt all of these things while wishing away my days so I could just feel my husband in my arms again. Women’s belly’s and families were growing while my goal was to just try to function like a normal human being in public. I told my doctor about how I was feeling in the midst of it all, and she prescribed me the lowest dose of Zoloft. I took it for a couple of months, but I didn’t really feel any differently and didn’t want to increase my dosage (don’t ask me why).

After my husband returned and we took a trip home, I called Military One Source to get in touch with a therapist in the area. Military One Source offers support to the military community, and one of the benefits they offer is counseling for pretty much anything! I knew that I still wasn’t myself and I realized that while being back in the Midwest. I was connected with a lady here in Texas and did six sessions (you get 12 for free for each circumstance. I also did 12 sessions when we first moved here). Honestly, it was hard with my work schedule and her schedule to fit in sessions, but as I mentioned earlier in this post, this lady opened my eyes to why I feel or act certain ways.

I’ve also learned that instead of trying to fight the situations in life that you can’t control- you MUST come to peace with them. You cannot control other people’s action’s, but you can certainly control how you react to them. This concept is obviously way easier said that done, haha. I’ve had my fair share of outbursts, but I’m getting better at accepting the person or the situation at it is. It’s a work in progress ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Estes Park. So thankful my BFF asked me to join her on this trip.

One more thing I should mention- I was never very religious which you can read about HERE. I started really thinking about religion in June, and it wasn’t until I went to Colorado with my best friend in August that I started opening my heart up to it more. I don’t have to be super religious and go to church every Sunday to have faith. I know some people that are like that but are actually complete turds in real life. We see that type of shit on the news as well. I’m not going to discuss now as there will be another post about this topic, but it’s something I wanted to touch on briefly as it’s also slowly helped bring me a sense of peace. And I don’t get annoyed anymore when people say that they’re praying for us. Instead, I truly believe it and appreciate the fact that they care so much about us to do so (my hubby’s view on religion is the same though! haha).

This post was hard for me to write as it took me back to some dark days and disagreements I had with others. Depression and anxiety can be so incredibly consuming, no matter how good you think you’re hiding it. A smile only goes so far, and those that know you best or are closest to you will recognize that behind it are tears…Know that it’s okay to feel the way you do, but remember- you have to help yourself instead of solely relying on others to help you ๐Ÿ™‚

Why I can’t Keep My Mouth Shut

Throughout the past two years, I’ve been asked a couple of times (honestly I think it’s like twice, haha) why I blog which was mostly pertaining to infertility stuff. As I mentioned before, I didn’t really know what the heck I was doing when I started blogging, and honestly, I still absolutely suck at the technical side of it all (if anyone wants to help, PLEASEย  let me know. I don’t know how to change anything! We’ll be best friends ๐Ÿ˜‰ jk). When I got pregnant, I thought, “Alright, cool. I’m going to document this so family and friends across the country and world can kind of watch it all”. When things didn’t go as planned, I didn’t know what to do with myself, the blog- pretty much anything. I was at a standstill, and quite frankly, I was embarrassed and ashamed that we had announced our pregnancy when we did at 10 weeks (four weeks later we found out we lost the baby at a routine ultrasound).

Since our Facebook friends and family knew about us expecting, I was afraid that we’d be asked how I/the baby was doing and I knew it would be weird to some as to why I hadn’t given any updates or posted any photos (I’m sure I have a lot of creepers, haha). I mean, people would probably eventually realize why, but I’ve learned that there are a lot of dumb asses in the world so you never know ๐Ÿ˜‰ We decided that I’d write a Facebook status just giving a general idea of our loss. And you know what? The out pour of support I got was amazing. Instead of crying tears of sorrow, I cried because I felt less alone and cared for, by many of whom weren’t even “friends” or family!

Those texts, phone calls, and messages were huge contributors as to why I didn’t do a complete nose dive. People (even a few guys!) that I hadn’t talked to in years sent well wishes, and many shared their stories about their personal losses as well. They made me realize just how many of us suffer from miscarriages or infertility but keep it to themselves. That is totally okay, but I’d go freaking crazy. Perhaps part of the reason why is because we’re here in Texas and I’m nowhere near my close family and friends, so besides Tyler and our dogs, I don’t have anyone. But there’s another explanation….

I kept a diary in elementary school. It went a little like this:

“Dear Diary,

Today I wore bright purple shorts, and white shirt, and a flowered vest. I slicked my hair back (a girl asked me one time if I used cement to push it back, but nope, it was just a shit ton of hair spray) and wore white shoes. I got my braces tightened yesterday and my teeth really hurt. My friends and I didn’t fight today, and [insert the boy I liked that week here] didn’t talk to me AT ALL. BOO ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Maybe tomorrow will be my lucky day! After school I did my homework, played outside, ate spaghetti, and watched Mrs. Doubtfire with my brother tonight.

Talk to you tomorrow!

Love, Kim”

I actually have them all and they’re hilarious to read. Then, In 7th/8th grade, I started to keep a journal. It was pretty much a diary with poems scattered throughout. I was pretty effing deep as a 13 year old ๐Ÿ˜‰ This continued on until the middle/end of my junior year when I stopped completely, but resumed after I graduated high school (my lost or floundering years, haha).

You see, I’ve always loved to write as I like to express my feelings and my truths. Blogging became an outlet to do so. I must mention, I tried keeping another handwritten journal about a year ago which lasted a whole two days as typing is a billion times faster and my hand got super tired ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

So this is my objective throughout our journey- I hope to become more actively involved in the infertility community. I hope my posts reach those that are struggling, have experienced a loss, or that know someone who is. I’m sure that it has to be difficult and awkward to watch your daughter, sister, friend- whatever- be on a roller coaster of emotions. I want to go beyond the blog, whether it’s in other virtual communities or in my own here in Texas. Infertility and loss is hard enough in itself, but being a military spouse can sometimes add a few more obstacles to it (I’ll be writing more about this soon). My intentions of blogging may be selfish as I want to express my feelings while taking note of what’s up throughout our journey, but I also truly want to give back. There are people out there that knows what it feels like- you are notย alone.

So peeps, THAT is why I can’t keep my mouth shut ๐Ÿ™‚

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That’s what we got to say about that ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes….IVF ????

Well, after a meeting with our GYN here back in June, then having two consultations with different Reproductive Endocrinologists in the Phoenix area, we have ultimately decided to move forward and plan on doing IVF (in vitro fertilization). We will also be doing ICSI (intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection) and more than likely PGS (preimplantation genetic screening) with it. I’ll briefly explain what are three procedures are, then answer a few questions that I have been asked.

IVF- Basically, it’s the process of taking the women’s eggs that she produces out of her body with a long needle and putting them into a lab dish with sperm in hopes that they will combine, then transferring an embryo (or embryos) back into a woman’s body. Now it’s much more complicated that that, haha. There are various protocols for different doctors, but a women is typically on birth control from 2-3 weeks to shut down her ovaries and control her cycle. A few days after the last pill is taken, she should have menstrual cycle (I was told it could be very light), and then monitoring via ultrasound and blood work begins as she starts on medication. Injections are then added to the mix to help produce lots of eggs.  The woman is usually put under during the retrieval of the eggs.

You can either do a fresh or frozen cycle. If it’s fresh, the embryos are put back inside 3-5 days after the retrieval. If it’s frozen, you don’t do the transfer until the following cycle. I’ve heard that more and more doctor’s are doing frozen cycles as they are more successful overall (this is what both of the RE’s we spoke with do), but there’s obvious success with both. The woman is NOT put out during the transfer, but is supposed to take it easy for a few days (and sometimes even be on bed rest) in hopes that implantation will occur.

ICSI- ICSI is simply used in combination with IVF. The meds and montoring are done the same way, but after the retrieval, the embryologist actually directly injects a sperm into an egg instead of just hoping they will combine in the lab dish. This is more effective when you have a male factor involved (as we do) or if the woman does not produce many eggs. Yes, it costs extra, but it’s obviously worth it!

PGS- This is a screening that is sometimes controversial.One or more cells are removed from each embryo to check for any chromosomal abnormalities. When an embryo has a chromosomal abnormality, there is a high chance that it will not implant; thus, the IVF cycle will obviously fail. However, it if does implant, it will often times lead to miscarriage. There’s the whole debate between people on how embryos are already considered a form of life and shouldn’t be messed with. I’m not here to discuss this issue. At first I didn’t think twice about this screening as it’s pretty pricey (about $3,000-$5,000 extra on top of the IVF/ICSI), but Tyler was all for it as it will decrease our risk of miscarriage and increase our chances of a live birth. Only embryos that pass the screening will be transferred back into me.

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Had to insert this little prom pose photo from the ball in July to break up the text, haha.

Hopefully that makes things a bit more understandable about the process ๐Ÿ™‚ You can read about why we chose to go the IVF route HERE.

I’ll save our tentative plan for next time, but here’s a few questions that I’ve been asked lately:

 

Does your insurance cover it? No, Tricare does not cover IUI or IVF. Basically, anything that is not being done in conjunction with timed intercourse isn’t covered. However, there are a few military bases across the country that do these procedures at a discounted rate. The closest one to us is in San Antonio, and I was actually referred there by my GYN but was denied as they were not accepting new patients then. There are a few reasons why we chose not to go to a military hospital that offers treatment. First of all, you have to be there for about 3 weeks total. That’s a long ass time and you obviously have to pay for travel and lodging expenses. Tyler wouldn’t need to be there the whole time with me, but still. Secondly, each hospital does the IVF in clusters and they only do the cycles 3-4 times a year. I understand the concept to it, but what the hell. Also, they do fresh cycles and do not do the PGS. So there’s that ๐Ÿ™‚

Hopefully this is true ๐Ÿ™‚

Where will you be doing this? I spent weeks researching RE’s in the Southwest cities that are within driving distance from El Paso and Fort Huachuca, AZ- Albuquerque, Tuscan, and Phoenix. I looked into Colorado Springs, but that’s almost 12 hours from Huachuca and that would be God awful sitting in a car for that long feeling like shit on stims or sick after the retrieval. Plus, I need to be able to do this drive on my own if need be, and I ain’t driving that far ๐Ÿ˜‰ After viewing websites and reviews, I found a few doctor’s in Phoenix that caught my eye and narrowed it down to two. The facility we are doing this at is in Gilbert, AZ- and the ironic part is that the building is literally right next door to the apartments I lived in back in 2008/2009. Like I could see my old balcony from the office, haha.

We dropped off our medical records before we met with another RE in early August and were both highly impressed with the facility, New Direction Fertility. After a mix-up about a phone consultation two weeks ago, we were able to rescheduled for last Friday night. Tyler and I spoke with the doctor on speaker phone, and he answered everything thoroughly and then some. This doctor was the only one that found that I have elevated AMH levels which is a sign of PCOS. I have been told for almost two years that I don’t have PCOS (no multiple cysts, no facial hair, high testosterone levels, not overweight, not resistant to insulin), but elevated AMH levels can make it more difficult to conceive. My AMH was 7.62ng/ML, so while it’s nothing out of this world, it’s not within normal range for my age.

The doc also seems to work well with out-of-state patients making it as easy as possible. IVF is a very time consuming, emotional and physically challenging procedure, so anything that will help me understand and relax is appreciated. Him and his wife suffered from infertility and they now have two sets of twins from IVF which he did himself!

Why are you going straight to IVF and not going to attempt IUI first? I mentioned that in my previous post, but to be more specific, it’s due to success rates and finances. The RE we are seeing does IUI’s for a pretty good price and said he thinks we could get pregnant in 3-4 rounds of it. Key word is “thinks”. While we know that IVF is not a sure thing, the chances of success are about 70-75% (with PGS) compared to the 7% with IUI. We also had to think about traveling to Phoenix for each round and the emotional stress of it. Plus, IUI might not work and then we would proceed to IVF so we’d be paying more in the long run.

Lmao. This should be interesting as I was such a treat on Clomid :/

That’s all I’ve got for now, but please don’t hesitate to ask any questions! ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, I understand that everyone has their own different views and opinions not only about advanced reproductive procedures, but about our journey as well. While I’m willing to discuss it all as I know it’s a sensitive, taboo, and sometimes embarrassing or shameful topic, I just want it to be known that it’s still hard for me to wrap my mind around it all. We are more than ready for the next chapter in our lives (not just meaning pregnancy and parenthood), and I’m both scared and excited about what the next several months will hold for us ๐Ÿ™‚

 

 

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Today is Friday and I’m off- woo! I’m looking forward to spending the day with Tyler. I’m in charge of planning what we’re doing this morning and he’s in charge of the afternoon, so we shall see how this turns out ๐Ÿ™‚ I have to admit- I got a bit nervous about him coming home and thinking about if things changed between us, if he changed, etc. The whole period of being reunited and getting settled back into everyday life is called reintegration, and I read blogs and articles about how it can be a struggle. I may write more about this at a later time, but things have actually been the same around here, if not better ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyways, today I’m linking up with Jen inย honor or Military Spouse Appreciation Day (yes, this is a real thing, haha). I don’t even remember how I stumbled upon Jen’s blog (http://kyleandjensmith.blogspot.com/), but she writes about everyday life, running, and everything in between. The following questions were asked to be answered, so here we go

 

//Tell us about yourself and your blog.

My husband, Tyler, and I moved to El Paso (Fort Bliss) in June of 2012. I was a full time student at the time, trying to figure out this wife thing and finding my place in the world. I honestly don’t know how I got started reading blogs, but I think it was through finding healthy recipes to make for us online, haha.ย After a while, I realized that I don’t need a place in the world- I needed an outlet. After much encouragement from Tyler, I startedย Living in Bliss. At first it was to just document our time living inย El Paso together… but thenย we got pregnant and endured a missed miscarriage at 14 weeks and I knew thatย this would be a great way to help me recover mentally and hopefully reach out to other women who are feeling alone and helpless. Now, I basically talk about our fertility issues and trying to conceive again, military life and deployment, crafts and DIY projects, and whatever the hell else I feel like ๐Ÿ™‚

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June 2012. We spent a few nights on a blow up mattress while we waited for our furniture to be delivered ๐Ÿ™‚

 

//What branch of military are you affiliated with?

My husband is a First Lieutenant in the Army. We’ve been together over five years, but married just under three. After attending Officer Candidate School (OCS) at Fort Benning, TJ went on to BOLC at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, and he proposed in Oklahoma City in April 2012. We married in El Paso that June- no messing around ๐Ÿ˜‰ Long story short- Tyler enlisted in 2001, the year he graduated high school (he was actually in boot camp when 9/11 occurred). He signed up for six years, went through two tours in Iraq, lived in Italy and at Fort Campbell, and got out as a Staff Sergeant in 2007. He moved back to our hometown and we met in Februaury of 2010 (though we’re from the same town, we didn’t know each other despite having some “acquaintances” in common. T went to a different high school and is three years older than me…cradle robber!). Shortly before graduating college, he decided to go back in the army as an officer.

//What is one thing you enjoy about the military lifestyle?

This may sound odd, but I actually like the fact that we have moved away from our hometown and established a life for ourselves. Of course I miss our family and friends and it saddens me not seeing them often, but we’re always just a plane ride or phone call away. Although this is our first duty station together, I’m excited to move every few years and experience different places- not to mention all the traveling and visiting awesome places that we otherwise wouldn’t have experienced. My husband already has almost 10 years of service under his belt, so we won’t be living this life forever. I’m eager to see where we settle after he retires!

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Military Ball. December 2013. Found my dress for 10 bucks at Plato’s closet and did my own make up, nails, and hair ๐Ÿ™‚

 

//What advice would you give other spouses who are new?

I have a few words of advice. First of all, do not listen to the generalizations of enlisted vs. officer wives. There are amazing spouses and those that are assholes on both sides of the fence. Also, not every duty station is gonna be a picnic. I never in a million years thought I’d be living in El Paso, and I heard lots of bad things about it. Yes, I miss the seasons, greenery, beaches, and knowing what everyone is saying out in public (my Espanola is not perfecto, haha), but it’s not forever. Go in with an open mind wherever you go and find the good in the area. I’ll admit that I never got involved with the FRG, but I know that’s helped a lot of spouses. There are other ways to get involved though and there are services on post that help with job searching (ACS). I feel as though many spouses use frequent moves (or in my current situation, because El Paso is primarily a Spanish speaking community) as a crutch to not be able to further their education or land a job. Annoying. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Keep a positive mind set and don’t bitch at your husband about where you’re stationed. Go on day trips and invest time into hobbies you enjoy.

 

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One of our many day trips. This was at White Sands in New Mexico ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Also, deployment isn’t a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. Tyler’s last deployment was sprung upon us- he literally left within two weeks of being notified. That rocked my world as he was in a non-deployable unit, haha. My biggest piece of advice is to stay busy. We obviously don’t have children and if we did, it would have been different. Seriously- get a job, volunteer, learn something new- do whatever you can to stay busy as it’ll make time go by faster.

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Lounging around watching movies in late 2012.

 

 

If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask! I hope to connect with some awesome ladies ๐Ÿ™‚ If you’re affiliated with the military, what is one thing you enjoy/despise about the lifestyle and what advice would you give fellow spouses or significant others?

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! I’ll be back next week to talk about some DIY projects, healthy recipes, and fertility stuff ๐Ÿ™‚

My Big Sexy is HOME… and a Few Life Updates

I’m SO incredibly happy to announce that Tyler is home! Though he spent a few days traveling and stuck in airports (DFW and AA suck…sorry, but I’ve had a few bad experiences myself), he finally landed in El Paso last Saturday afternoon. Words can’t describe what it felt like to see him again….Honestly, it felt surreal, and in a way, it still kinda does. I guess that’s what nearly 10 months apart does to you, haha.

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My heart is home.

I was off Saturday, Sunday, and Monday but it was a whirlwind. We spent our days just being together and doing shit that needed to be done, in addition to some fun things such as activating our new phones (I love you iPhone 6) and buying new bedding (still need to get some accent pillows and make some dรฉcor). Papa Murphy’s pizza and wine was his choice of meal upon his return home, so I had that waiting for him ๐Ÿ™‚

We put together this TV stand (this bitch weighed like 70 pounds so I couldn’t do it solo) and he installed a few other things he ordered while he was gone. His army room/our work out roomย (our 3rd bedroom) looks like a tornado went through it, but I honestly could give a rat. As much as we may butt heads sometimes, it’s amazing to look over and see him next to me or hear him call my name.

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Yes, that is indeed Nintendo 64 ๐Ÿ™‚

On a different note, I started my period the day before Tyler got home (well, on Thursday the 23rd- he was supposed to be home the following day but came home the 25th). It was the first time in 7 months that my cycle was relatively normal (33 day as opposed to 45+). That was pretty awesome timing ๐Ÿ˜‰ As much as the timing sucked, it was nice to get things rolling early.

I started Femara (Letrozole) a few days ago… today was actually my last day taking it which is cycle day 9. I’ll write another post comparing my side effects of this medicine to Clomid. Tyler got his blood work done yesterday and will go in for another sperm analysis within the next 2 weeks.

I’m cutting this post short, but for those of you that keep up with my blog- I apologize for such infrequent posts. My life was honestly work, cleaning, working out, Netflix, playing with our dogs, and grocery shopping/meal prepping the past several months. I was just in survival mode without him, haha ๐Ÿ™‚ Hopefully now I can add something more and be more motivated to upload my crafts and recipes. If you don’t already, you should follow me on Facebook and Instagram!

Cheers to a great weekend and my husband returning home safely from his 3rd deployment ๐Ÿ™‚

April 2015 Update

So this morning I had a follow up appointment with our doctor. All of my labs came back normal (except my progesterone which is always very low). That’s awesome in a way, but sometimes I feel like if we knew what the deal was, then perhaps there would be some type of actual treatment for it. Anyways, my cycle day 21 fell over the weekend, so I got another blood draw to check my progesterone levels after my appointment.

My doctor set up Plan A for us which goes as follows:

  • On cycle day 35 (Saturday, April 25) I can either take the Provera she prescribed me to induce a period OR wait for it to come on it’s own. Over the past several months, my cycles have been anywhere from 40-57 days long… Tyler is wanting me to take the med (as am I)…we wanna get the show on the road when he returns. However, I took this medication last year and nothing happened- NO menstrual cycle. I finally had to be put on birth control for a month to induce a period ๐Ÿ˜ฆย  So we shall see.

 

  • After a new cycle occurs, I was told to call my doctor ASAP to notify her. I’ll then have to go get an HCG (pregnancy) blood test done on post to ensure I’m not pregnant (dumb because my husband has been gone for 9 months, but procedures over rule). She should receive those results within a day or two and then send in my prescription for Femara (letrozole) to take on cycle days 5-9

 

  • I will have to go through this each cycle (calling, HCG blood test, then picking up my prescription) which is different than Clomid. I didn’t have to go through the blood work to get my prescription with Clomid, so although it’s a bit more of a hassle (especially with working full-time and the labs/pharmacy being slow as fuck sometimes), we are content with trying a different medication with less side effects.

 

  • We will repeat this plan for 2-3 cycles. If nothing happens, we will move foward.

 

Plan B will either be trying Clomid for 2-3 cycles OR being referred to a specialist. There is only ONE RE is El Paso, and the wait time is a few months. However, there are one or two OBGYN’s that specialize in infertility, so we would probably go that route due to our time restraint of PCSing early next year. Injections and/or IUI would be Plan B if we choose not to do Clomid again.

So that’s it- short and sweet. Honestly, all I want is to see my husband again. It’s the little things in life that he does mean the most to me, such as kissing me goodbye every single morning before he goes to PT; demanding a kiss when one of us comes home from work; holding my hand while we’re driving, at the movies, or just out and about; playing with our dogs as if they were children…I can’t wait to see him watching his boring ass TV shows (I’m sorry, but I cannot get into Game of Thrones for the life of me) while I cuddle up next to him reading a book or simply drifting off to sleep…

Anyways, we shall see what happens. I’ve been trying to focus on the things I have, rather than the things I don’t have. And it’s made life a tad bit sweeter ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Cubs Spring Training in Arizona last March. I obviously don’t have recent pics of us, and this is fitting for the time of year. Go Cubbies!

 

Military Stereotypes

Military Stereotypes. Yep,ย  I’m going there. I’m going to reference a link below, so click on it before you read my thoughts:

Click HERE.

These are just my random thoughts….

  • All military spouses are unemployed- No, they’re not. I’ve met a handful of spouses, both enlisted and officer’s wives, that are stay at home wives/mothers or are working. However, I’ve noticed that on both sides of the spectrum, those with one kid or several do not work. Some of them are involved in the FRG or other volunteer work though. I could honestly give a rat what anyone else does as long as they don’t get in our way. I’ve read on numerous sites/Facebook pages that it’s impossible to find a job here in El Paso because it’s such a predominant Spanish speaking community. I DO agree that it’s difficult, but not unattainable. My Spanish has gotten better since being employed, and while I don’t have the exact words to speak back to people sometimes, it’s kinda cool to know what they’re saying in a different language. I joke that I’ll be fucked if we move to Germany next and I won’t know a thing ๐Ÿ˜‰
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When I was a stay at home wife, full time student ๐Ÿ™‚ Taking this cutie to the dog park!

 

  • All military spouses are pregnant- Yep, I agree. Just kidding. I have no idea, but I DO see many young women at the hospital/clinic when I go for my appointments. I heard the super preggo girl in front of me the other day say she was born in 1998 and about crapped my pants. I’m kind of conflicted with this generalization. My husband was married before (when he was enlisted), but they choose not to have kids right away (thank God). I will say that we are out of the ordinary for our age (I’m 29 and he’s 32) and not having any children. Most of the activities on post are children oriented. Bottom line- women get pregnant all the time in general. Men: wear a rubber if you’re not married. Don’t believe that your girl is on birth control or taking it right.

 

  • They have a hill of kids at home-ย  I’ve seen families with 3-5 kids and some with none at all (VERY rare). Once again, don’t most families have children? Is it a proven fact that military families conceive more? I wouldn’t doubt it based on the amount of time it takes me to book a god damn doctor’s appointment for something simple, haha.

 

  • They wear their service member’s rank- I’ve never really seen this. I have seen it against me though. After it was known that my husband is an officer, it was thrown in my face that “he makes more so we can afford things” and whatnot. UMM, my husband earned what he has because he got a college degree. Seeing that he was enlisted before, he knew how to live on the salary of each rank as well. I’m proud of my husband. Like somtimes, it makes me want to cry, proud. But I’m just his lady…I’ll follow him wherever he goes, but his rank is HIS doing. I am going to make the best out of MY career wherever we go ๐Ÿ™‚

 

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Cold as balls in Georgia, but my pinning my babe!

  • ย All military spouses are uneducated- I’m not going to lie. I tend to see on social media that there are many enlisted soliders’ wives not only without college degrees, but with no high school diploma! Unless you’re a rock, graduate from high school. If you don’t want a Bachelor’s degree, at least get an associates or some other type of schooling. Look into MYCAA. Do NOT rely on your husband and his job/income to supplement your lifestyle and bearing children. I’m more of a “what if” happens kind of person…I know if the big D ever happened to us, I’d at least have my degree and experience in my favor. I also see many officer wives that have an education and not working. So yeah. It’s all situational and what works best for your family ๐Ÿ™‚

 

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Tyler MADE me walk…then took me out for brunch ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

  • All military spouses are wealthy- Who the eff said this? LMAO.

 

  • All military spouses are lonely- ย Yes, field exercises and deployments are lonely. Some people deal with their loneliness by going out all the time, or unfortunately, cheating. Luckily, I’ve always been a more introverted person. Don’t get me wrong- I love being with my family and close friends, but I can handle being alone. I can organize the shit out of things, read, clean, work out, play with my dogs, make crafts, and cook/meal prep. Work takes up most of my time, but when I’m alone I try to push aside the loneliness by distracting myself with old reruns of TV shows on Netflix or music playing in the background.
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My boys have been a huge blessing during TJ’s deployment. They look out for their mommy!

 

  • ย All military spouses are bossy- ย  Uhhh? Never heard this before. NO.

 

  • All military spouses are high maintenance-ย  I’ve only met a few this way. I could give two shits about designer brands (on certain things). If you’re that high maintenance, you must come from money.

 

Alright, so that’s it. What do you think about the military spouse stigma?