Counting Successes Rather Than Days During a Deployment

**** I’d like to give a huge shout-out to Elizabeth from Elizabeth Loves for helping me customize my blog over the past week! Though I’m slowly learning, I’m clueless when it comes to the back-end of blog design, and she was extremely helpful, made the process easy, and was absolutely wonderful to work with. Elizabeth is also a fellow military wife who writes about all different arrays of life- so check out her blog!

Alright, obviously I’d rather have my husband right next to me, but that simply is not possible right now. Though this is TJ’s third deployment, it’s our first together, and it hit us out of nowhere. This post is not meant to judge, nor to say that that dealing with it one way is better than others. It’s simply portraying how I’m trying to juggle being apart from my husband and, better yet, getting him home safe and sound.

374195_10101041954756248_721740637_n

Late 2011- Visiting TJ at Fort Benning while he was at OCS.

I’ve only been an army wife for a bit over two years, but I’ve come into contact with numerous spouses. After the basic “get to know ya” questions, they tend to ask whether or not you’re husband has deployed or not. Is this a status thing? For real…I’m asking all the military spouses out there. Did I not qualify to be in the “real army wife” category because I didn’t experience a deployment with my husband yet? Who knows…

I didn’t even know he existed back then, but Tyler did two, 12 month tours previously in Iraq. Long story short if you’re new- He was enlisted from 2001 to 2007 and left as a Staff Sergeant…went to college and got a dual degree in Marketing and Business, then went back in as an Officer.

21963_100228480010672_7246866_n

TJ in Iraq…

Anyways, as much as I want to lie in bed and watch Netflix or Hulu all day, I know I can’t (but some days I will). I HAVE to focus on the positives of this deployment…Tyler has tried to remind me of some.

  • Our marriage will be stronger than ever
  • Our true friendships will shine through
  • Our familial relations will grow closer together

In all honesty, I am not the most positive person in the world. Ask those closest to me, haha. It’s funny though because I get many comments applauding me for my optimism. I kind of have to force myself to think better thoughts, but you know what? It ends up changing my mindset after a while and relieves so much unneeded stress. Sulking and bitching won’t give me Tyler back. In fact, it would probably damage our relationship to an extent. I have to be strong for myself and him…but I promise you I have my moments (some last longer than others), yet their in the privacy of my home. I’ll write more about this as we get further into the deployment.

Anyways, I stupidly downloaded a countdown app last week and punched in the rough estimate of when he will returning home next week. I seriously about shat my pants when I saw the number that pop up and immediately said eff this. I have no clue why I even did that. Some women may find a countdown to be comforting, but mama just can’t handle seeing numbers in the high 200’s. So, instead of counting numbers, I’m going to count our successes.

The successes don’t really have to be things I achieved. They’ll merely be things that make me happy, get me through the day or week, or that I look forward to. It could be something as simple as relaxing and enjoying a book or trying something new. I plan on creating a “Deployment Bucket List” for things I’m going to do to help me not freak the fuck out stay strong for the both of us. I’ll share this with you all within a few weeks! Hopefully, this will help others gain more light towards deployments instead of focusing on the constant worry and other negative feelings that it causes.

Thought this was funny…

What do you think about counting successes instead of days during a deployment or pro-longed times away from your spouse?

Any suggestions of things to put on my bucket list??!!

Advertisements

The Love of My Life is Halfway Across the World

Soooo…We have some news to share. If you’re familiar with the army, you know what the multicam in the picture below means:

V__838C

Multi-cam ACU’s…yep.

My husband deployed a few weeks ago. Although I’m well aware that this is part of the deal while in the military, this deployment occurred very unexpectedly (Tyler was in a non-deployable unit and was individually tasked out to go), and the process of us finding out to him leaving happened within a matter of two weeks.

Typically, army personnel and their families know about theses things months in advance so there is more time to prepare and whatnot. That obviously wasn’t the case, but we are actually both grateful for this. Waiting around is no fun, which is a huge part of the military. Have you ever heard of the phrase “hurry up and wait”?. Starting the deployment asap meant that TJ would be coming home sooner. It’s hard to explain, but it’s kind of like ripping a Band-Aid off really fast instead of slowly and dreading the pain 😉

We were celebrating our second anniversary and rooting that things were perhaps aligned medically to try for a baby again without any prolonged interruptions due to his training….Then news broke loose that he was about to embark on a 9 month deployment. I thought TJ was joking at first…but he wasn’t. Tyler handled everything extremely well- even when they went back and forth about whether or not he was going. Like come on people- he’s not going on a flipping business trip to Cali. This is this third deployment (he did two 12 month tours in Iraq when he was enlisted), but our first together.

1017519_10103872960812418_4089384660493978358_n

Grasping our last days together- relaxing andwatching the series “Orange is the New Black”. We love it!

Within a matter of days,  we he got shit taken care of- POA, discussing financial obligations, and unfortunately the worst-case scenario details.

Do not tell me that I signed up for this. Yes, I knew this day would come. I’ll tell you though- I’m so incredibly proud of this man that I could burst.

All I ask if for you to keep my big sexy in your thoughts.

Thank you…Have a good one! 🙂 XOXO.

Have you or someone you love every deployed? If so, for how long and where to?