Pregnancy Update (Weeks 25 & 26)


I never post these on time- I always switch weeks on Saturdays so I’m actually 27w4d. Oops 😉 I’ve said it before, but the second trimester is going by SO much faster than the first! We had a lot going on during this time- I started the second tri Thanksgiving weekend so the holidays made time go by quickly, but preparing for the move and leaving Texas/getting settled in Arizona seriously made time flash before my eyes. I was scared every single day the first trimester. The fear of another loss consumed me to the point that I didn’t really even want to talk about the pregnancy, and although that apprehension never quite goes away, it has eased up as time has passed. I don’t think I really let my guard down until I was 18/19 weeks, but it’s very common to feel that way after a missed miscarriage (my body was still holding on to the baby when I went in for the D&C at 16 weeks and I still had no signs such as cramping or blood loss). I don’t want to get into the emotional aspect of it too much in this post, so here’s my next biweekly update!

Maternity clothes? Yes to pants, but I can still wear some normal shirts if they’re longer and weren’t skin tight on me normally, haha. Luckily, the weather is getting nice here in Arizona so I can wear maxi skirts and loose dresses as well. It’s been gorgeous out and I’ve even put a swim suit and sat outside with a book a couple of times! I can fit normally into those, except some of the tops are too small.

Stretch marks? Nope!

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Sleep: Sleep has been good! I get up 1-2 times a night to pee but haven’t had issues falling back asleep for the most part. I drink lots of water as it is, but have been trying to chill out before bedtime so I only have to get up once though 😉 I had one or two nights when I couldn’t fall asleep for the life of me. Baby things were running through my head- the upcoming trip home and hoping for no dumb drama, the nursery, buying everything we need, hoping everything is okay, etc. Once I DID fall asleep, it was pretty shitty, but oh well 😉

Best moment: I had my glucose test done and I’m happy to report that I passed! I also got news that my pap back in January came back normal which is always a relief when you have a history of precancerous cells (luckily, it’s been five years since an abnormal pap). During week 26, we had our initial appointment with my new OB here, and we both really like him! We also preregistered at the hospital, got a tour of the labor and delivery wing (the hospital is only 14 months old and super nice!), and signed up for classes. They are every Monday from April 4-May 9 and consist of a series of six courses (2 hours each)- each week a different topic is covered. I’m actually really excited!

Miss anything? Not that I can think of…family, but I’m always missing them 🙂

Movement: Yes! I got a little worried during week 24 (the week we were moving/unpacking) because I felt like I didn’t feel her as much. However, the doctor said that babies are just like us- we all have our more active days and lazier days. I’m on my feet a lot (it’s hard for me to sit still unless I’m in super lazy mode or really tired), but I noticed when I take a break or lay down, that’s when she starts kicking around. She’s also more active in the afternoon and at night than earlier in the day. Starting in a week, I just need to ensure that I feel ten movements every 2 hours when she is most active.

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Food cravings: Still nothing crazy. And to be honest, (I’m sure this may get some eye rolls, haha) I “crave” healthy foods. As I’ve mentioned before, my normal sweet tooth pretty much dissipated when morning sickness kicked in and hasn’t made a mad return. I couldn’t even finish my cheesecake that we brought home from the Cheesecake Factory in Tuscon in a few sittings! I do enjoy homemade smoothies (and homemade chocolate banana or chocolate banana peanut butter once in a while) and the occasional treat though.

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Still kind of the same- it’s hit or miss with certain foods that I’ve mentioned before. Mexican food still sounds gross. Light, smaller meals work best, but as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve always been more of a grazer. I HATE the feeling of feeling overly stuffed, especially during the day as it makes me lethargic. With my belly continue to grow, I can’t eat big meals or I feel sick.

Workouts: Walking and biking- leisurely though. Tyler and I are really enjoying Arizona and going on bike rides (he usually goes again after we get done as it’s not enough of a work out for him, haha). I need to get some scenery pics from out here- the mountains look beautiful.

Showing? Yep.

Gender: Girl 🙂

Symptoms: I keep forgetting to mention this, but for the past couple of months, I’ve had a bloody nose every morning. Well, it’s not really a bloody nose- when I blow it, there’s some blood, but I’ve never had a full out nose bleed. Gross, I know. It’s a pregnancy symptom and it doesn’t help that we live in a really dry climate. We need to get a humidifier, but are waiting as we’re getting one for the baby anyways. I’m also starting to get tired more easily. Although I experienced morning sickness longer than many women, I regained a lot of energy starting around 15 weeks. I could really use a nap most days again, but I try to refrain from that so I can sleep well at night. I’m experiencing Braxton Hicks, but I didn’t realize what it was for a while. My stomach will get super tight and I’d think she was flipping over or something, but now I know better 🙂

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Belly button in or out? Flat

Wedding ring on or off? On

Emotions: Happy for the most part! I always get anxious before the doctor appointments, so that’s nothing new. I’m just so incredibly thankful right now. I can have moments of being really sensitive, too.

Looking forward to: Going back home and seeing family and friends!!!! And Tuscon does nonstop flights to Chicago Midway (El Paso didn’t when flying Southwest), so I don’t have to get all butt hurt about connecting flights and layovers 🙂 I’m looking forward to our baby shower out there as well….and the start of the third trimester! Also, we got her bedding in and I started getting wall decor and other stuff for her nursery. Tyler goes back to work soon, and I’m excited to continue working on her nursery and doing little projects!

What’s Going on with Baby: Baby’s ears are more developed and sensitive at 26 weeks, so she can now hear us better. She is inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid which is essential for lung development. She continues to put on fat and measures around 14 inches.

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Pregnancy Update (Weeks 23 & 24)

It’s been over two weeks since I’ve posted anything because it’s been so crazy around here! Between tying up loose ends in Texas, moving to Arizona, unpacking everything and getting settled in (we don’t mess around- everything was unpacked and put in place within a few days- I can’t stand a mess or shit just laying around!), getting doctor and new OB stuff taken care of (first appointment with the new OB on the 25th), getting some things for the house, and learning our way around town- I haven’t had too much free time. And honestly, when I have had it, it’s been nice to relax with my husband since he’s on leave 🙂 I’m getting this post out late as I’m already going to be 26 weeks tomorrow, but I figured better late than never!

Maternity clothes? Yes- pants, although I can still wear some normal leggings. I’m in a weird stage where my normal shirts are getting too short yet maternity tops are effing huge. I’m not petite (and my boobs have gotten huge- I’m falling out of my 34C bras so I’m pretty sure I’m a D but refuse to buy a new bra as there’s so much for the baby we need to buy, haha), but I’m smaller framed yet I’m about 5’8″ and I feel like a lot of maternity clothes aren’t made for “skinny” women (hope that doesn’t sound bad, but it’s been getting frustrating). I also don’t want to look like a garage bag in a huge t-shirt or something. I’m SO happy and proud to be pregnant and I feel good in my changing body, and I want it to show!

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Trying to find a decent baby shower dress. Not successful yet.

Stretch marks? Nope!

Sleep: Sleep was absolutely awful during weeks 23 and 24. I know this had to do with the stress of the move, sleeping on a queen sized mattress on the floor for nearly two weeks with Tyler and Wrigley trying to weasel his way between us (we have a king and even though I was getting shitty sleep, I felt too bad kicking him out of the room!). I felt a lot crappier (and moodier) most days because of the lack of good sleep, too. I’d wake up due to my lower back aching as well, but I didn’t have my snoogle with me, so perhaps that was it? haha. But we got out bed back at the end of week 24 and all was well again! 🙂

Best moment: Always, always, always feeling the baby kick. This will never get old to me. Also, it sounds weird, but I have been waiting to hit the 24 week mark which is when the baby’s chances of surviving outside of the womb start increasing. Nothing is a sure thing in life, but this brought us a little comfort, and I know each passing day will only bring us that much closer. Finally moving was a pretty great moment as well. We have been waiting for this for months, and while El Paso wasn’t too bad, we were ready for change and to start a new chapter. And, I must say, so far we LOVE it out here in Arizona! We are in a small town but only about an hour from Tuscon and 3 hours from Phoenix, so it’s an awesome location and beautiful weather and scenery.

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Even the dogs love our new place!

Miss anything? I missed my bed during these 2 weeks, haha. That’s all 🙂

Movement: Yes, like crazy! She seems much more active in the evening, but her movement is getting so much more frequent.

Food cravings: I really wanted fajitas before we left El Paso and it was good while I was eating it, but now all Mexican food sounds gross 😦 I still have some food aversions and honestly not a lot of cravings. In a way I’m thankful for this as healthy, nutritious foods are what sound best- fruits, homemade smoothies, raw veggies with hummus or Greek yogurt dip, hard boiled eggs, cottage cheese and pita chips/crackers, granola. If I DO have a craving, I’ll of course indulge, but it hasn’t really happened that much. Oh wait- sushi sounded SO good during week 23, but that can’t happen 😉

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Chicken sometimes still or the thought of anything really sweet, but this isn’t constant. Red sauces still sound kinda gross.

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So, we got rid of the floor lamp we’d been using to capture my weekly bump photos (it was a huge piece and was kinda broken). Unfortunately, this means I have to change how the weekly photos look, but I’m working on making the lighting better. Also, I don’t have a week 24 bumpdate pic 😦 Things got hectic and by the time I thought about it, it was Friday which meant I was 25 weeks the next day so I said f it 😉

Workouts: I didn’t work out at all during these weeks. I’m still taking it easy due to the cervical length thing and with moving and unpacking, I figured that was enough. And let me tell ya, I really felt it in my back while unpacking! I’m sure it was being on my feet like all day (Tyler would make me take mini breaks here and there and put my feet up!) and the lifting and constantly bending over and putting things away/cleaning.

Showing? Yep 🙂

Gender: Girl 🙂

Symptoms: Movement, lower back ache, fatigue, food aversions, growing belly.

Belly button in or out? Pretty much flat. 

Wedding ring on or off? On

Emotions: Somewhat emotional about the move at times but excited as well. I also started getting anxious about our upcoming trip back home to Indiana. It will be a busy week, but I just want everything to go smoothly and for there to be no drama. I’m NOT putting up with any of that 😉

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Looking forward to: Spending lots of time with Tyler over the next few weeks (perks of the military- saving leave and getting 30 DAYS off! Such an amazing time for him to be home and I’m grateful for that). Exploring our new town. Setting up the nursery 🙂 Going back to Indiana for a week with family/friends and our baby shower. It’s going to be bittersweet though as it’ll probably be the last time I stay at my mom’s condo during our trips home. I plan on sleeping there with my sister and brother (Tyler will sleep at his parents about 10 minutes away), but it’s a condo so there isn’t much extra room, and after the baby is born, we will want to stay together with her, of course! Might sound weird for us to split up during the week, but it’s just sleep and I’m comfortable- it’s home to me- so I don’t see the big deal. It’s great that we’re from the same hometown, but also tricky dividing time between the families.

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I think I might use this look as I continue doing bump photos. Or the photo directly above. Thoughts? I love the antique look!

What’s Going on with Baby: Baby is about 8.5 inches long and weighs about 1.5 pounds and is growing at a rapid pace. Her face is pretty much fully formed and she has eyelashes, eyebrows, and hair, although it’s white since there is no pigment yet. Her skin is still somewhat transparent, but this won’t last for very long as she starts piling on fat.

So that’s it! The past month has flown by and it’s crazy to think that I’m nearly 6.5 months pregnant now. A year ago, my husband was deployed and it sucked the life out of me just trying to get through the day without crying….but I don’t like thinking about that- it still makes me sad… Now that we’re settled, I should be posting 1-2 times a week again and have a few things on my agenda that I’ve been meaning to write about. I’ll be back early next week with a little update more focused on us rather than baby stuff! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Pregnancy Update (Weeks 21 & 22)

***I’m late with posting this as I’m 23w4d, but the packers came last Friday so I made this post from my iPhone which I did NOT like, haha. 

Maternity clothes? Yes and no. I wore nothing but yoga pants/leggings the past two weeks and they weren’t maternity, but they were considered my “looser” ones before pregnancy. However, I have to wear the leggings under my belly which is more uncomfortable to me, so that isn’t gonna last much longer. I only do this with my “cheapy” Forever 21 leggings, NOT my nice ones from Nordstroms. Those are packed away and will not be stressed out! 😉 Shirts are getting shorter, but I can still get away with most of my normal ones as long as they weren’t skin tight to begin with and are a little longer.

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    21w5d

I also started looking online for a dress for our shower the beginning of March (okay, I’ve only looked at Pink Blush, haha). It’s back home in Indiana so it’s gonna be cold which kinda limits things. I also think I wanna wear boots as I ain’t parading around in high heels for hours. That sucks the life out of me when I’m NOT pregnant, and I want to be comfortable, but cute, of course 😉 If you have any suggestions, please let me know! I’ll hit up the mall within the next few weeks to find something decent to take with and hopefully go shopping with my mom and sis when we’re in town if if nothing I see out here appeals to me.

Stretch marks?  Nope!

Sleep: I finally caught the cold that Tyler when I was exactly 21 weeks, and needless to say, it was awful. Sleep during that time wasn’t great, but thats expected when you can’t freaking breathe. I’m using the Snoogle every night. Keep in mind that we have a king sized bed so we fit comfortably still. Snoogle are massive, but I really think it was a good investment.

Best moment: Feeling her movements get stronger! I’ll seriously never get sick of feeling her.

While I was sick and napping, Tyler surprised me and made a batch of homemade lemon rice soup. He rarely cooks and he’s never made it before, but he went to the grocery store to get the ingredients and gave it a try- and it turned out AWESOME! I’ve been craving it from a restaurant back home and it was such a sweet gesture.

We also went house hunting and chose the home we will be living in while Tyler attends Captain Career Course. It’s newer and nicer than the one we’re in now, but also 400 square feet smaller. I’m hoping everything fits nicely!

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Miss anything? Nope. I miss my family a lot though and I’m super excited to see them in early March!

Movement: Yes! I feel her a lot throughout the day and it’s so fucking awesome to see movement through my belly! Seriously my favorite part of everyday 🙂 

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Food cravings: No…still no real cravings. No fun, eh? Perhaps I’m one of those pregnant women that just don’t get wild cravings, but we still have a long while to go. Because a lot of things don’t sound great, I’ve been making a smoothie a day to help ensure I’m getting the extra calories I need. No, I don’t count calories, but I have a pretty good idea of what I eat amounts to.

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Pretty much the same. I’m still not feeling desserts, but I can do hot chocolate once in a while. Pasta, marinara sauce, raw spinach, and plain chicken still sound gross (I can do chicken in dishes though, just the thought of chicken alone makes me feel sick). The thought of scrambled eggs makes me nauseous sometimes as well, but hard boiled eggs are good!

Workouts: They were nonexistent the 5 days that I pretty much laid around all day while I was sick.

I also got news at 22w4d that my cervical length was only measuring 2.6cm- the measurement before that, five weeks prior, was 3.5cm. This sent me into a panic as I know how real preterm labor can be and that your cervix will only continue to decrease as time goes on because the baby is growing bigger. We are also moving so I’ll be in between docs for a little bit and I didn’t want this to go left uncared for. My doc said there isn’t much we could do at this pint as I’m too far along for a clerege but not far enough along for the shot to help lung development should anything happen over the next few weeks. Plus, they don’t start to be concerned until it’s 2.5 or below (uhh .1cm away doesn’t seem like much but who knows!). So I was advised to take it easy- no heavy lifting or strenuous exercise and to take frequent breaks when I’m on my feet. I’ll be remeasured next week! ***I was remeasure yesterday at 23w3d and it was 2.9 at the shortest length! I’m still going to continue not overdoing it but it’s a relief that it was measuring a bit better 🙂 

Showing? Yes! Although if I’m wearing a big hoodie and sweats I look completely normal, haha.

Gender: Girl 🙂

Symptoms: Sneezing still. Bleeding gums when I floss! I know it’s gross but I was like wtf when it started happening. I floss every single night (super gross when people don’t and I’m trying to get my husband to at least use the waterpik), and I had a dentist appointment for a cleaning during week 21 (teeth look perfect, woo!) and they said it’s completely normal. I’m gonna miss my dentist office as they’re SO nice and thorough (I’ve been to quite a few over the years who have fucked up fillings and crowns)…one of the few downsides of moving!

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before but my boobs are huge. I was always a 34C, then when I got off birth control and started really running and working out about 4-5 years ago, I dropped down to a 32C/34B. I kept all my bigger bras, but I’m literally spilling out of them. Maybe I’ll pick up a bigger cheapy one somewhere someday, haha.

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding ring on or off? On

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Had to add this as he’s just so cute!!

Emotions: Kind of all over the place. We sold a few things in preparation of our move and I got super emotional because this cheap ass lady offered pretty much next to nothing for something that was considered “mine” before we were married (it was my moms and though it didn’t have a special meaning in our family, I got all bent about it, haha).

I’m anxious about the move but excited at the same time. I’m unbelievably happy most of the time though, and I’m still in awe when I look at myself in the mirror and see my belly or feel her kicking 🙂

Looking forward to: Moving and getting our new home set up!

I know for sure I want maternity photos done, but I’m also playing around with the idea of getting ones done that are a little, I don’t know what word to use, sexier? Not like full blown nude, haha, but in tasteful lingerie and pearls. I hate a boudoir shoot done while Tyler was deployed and made him a book on Shutterfly and it turned out awesome! I know a lot of women don’t like pregnancy and bitch about blowing up and feeling unattractive, but I’m loving my new curves an growing belly and want to embrace it. I honestly don’t know if I’d feel the same way had we not experienced a miscarriage or trouble conceiving again, but I’m NOT taking this amazing time in my life for granted as it very well may never come again. What are your thoughts on this?

What’s Going on with Baby: At 11 inches and almost 1 pound (about the size of a spaghetti squash), your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he’s even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. **Taken from Babycenter.com!


 

Pregnancy After a Loss and/or Infertility

This topic has been something that I’ve been thinking about ever since I found out that I was pregnant. It’s a sensitive subject and emotional subject, and it may be a bit difficult for me to write, but bear with me. Pregnancy after a loss and/or infertility is much different than a normal pregnancy. A “normal” pregnancy may consist of naiveness, innocence, and happy thoughts of ten months out. However, after you experience a loss, go through infertility, or both, your thought process is unlike it was before. For me, pregnancy the second time around has differed so much from an emotional standpoint.

I wanted to write about this and bring awareness to it as I think there’s sometimes a gap between these two types of women (or three, if you experience infertility).

  • You’ll be checking for blood multiple times a day…but this still doesn’t ease your mind. My first pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage, meaning the baby had passed (ours around week 12), but I had literally no symptoms of an impending loss. No blood, no cramping- nothing, and we found out at an ultrasound at 14 weeks. This time around, I’d check every time I used the restroom even though I knew that this does not ensure that all is okay. We did have a little scare when I was 13 weeks as I had some brown spotting (brown means old blood and red means new blood. Red is not a good sign). It happened in the late afternoon after cleaning and running errands all day, and I spent the rest of the evening laying down, drinking lots of water. I called my doctor the next morning and she said to come to the hospital to get it checked out. Long story short- they couldn’t determine the exact cause, but baby was doing great and I was put on light bed rest for a few days. We were so relieved, but I felt awful as we missed Tyler’s promotion ceremony that morning to get pinned Captain (he was actually promoted November 1st) 😦 Anyways, checking will be constant.
  • You’ll become worried when your morning sickness dissipates. Yes, most women are ecstatic when they start feeling better, but my mind started to wander when I’d have a few hours or days where I wasn’t dry-heaving constantly or running to the bathroom. It’s very common for all day sickness to come and go, and even though it wasn’t fun not feeling well, it was comforting to me as it reminded me that I was, indeed, pregnant. You see, the first time my morning sickness started to ease up around week 11 and by week 12 I was feeling totally back to normal…and that’s when the baby passed, so that was obviously on my mind. This time my doctor offered to give me medicine to help with the sickness, but I politely declined. It probably sounds crazy, but I didn’t want the meds in my system. I am fortunately not currently working outside of the home, so I had time to rest and take naps if I needed to. Keep in mind that I’m also one of those women who do not eat lunch meat, soft cheeses, or literally anything else that you “aren’t supposed” to eat while pregnant. Great for those women who have the balls to do it, but I don’t as I’m not risking anything.
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Though morning sickness was no fun, I was so unbelievably happy to get to experience pregnancy again that I didn’t care!

  • You’ll be absolutely over the moon but also incredibly terrified. The first time around I was like most other first-time pregnant women- I knew miscarriages occurred, but I never thought that it’d happen to me. A loss hurts no matter how many weeks along you are, but I believe the further you are in a pregnancy, the more difficult it is to grasp that it truly happened.  We waited two years to see two pink lines again. We watched some women who were pregnant the same time I was have their baby, then get pregnant and birth their second…That being said, when you do get pregnant again, you’re afraid that it’ll happen to you once more as reoccurring loss is a very real thing for some couples. It’s a very bizarre feeling to be so happy yet scared at the same time. It was NOT comforting when people would say that it wouldn’t happen again- no one can predict the future. However, my doctor just kept telling me to “just believe” at every appointment and that this is a different pregnancy, a different baby. I still hold onto those words 🙂
  • You won’t give a shit if the baby is a boy or a girl. I think this is why I had such a difficult time when people would ask if it was a boy or girl and/or what we wanted. We honestly did not care whatsoever (if my husband did deep down, he never told me)- we just wanted a healthy baby. I know, I know- that’s what everyone wants, but it’s the truth. As I mentioned before, I didn’t care if we had a boy first to be the protector should he have siblings one day or whatever. I was the oldest and no one protected me and I didn’t turn out that bad 😉 We do think it would be nice to have two children closer in age than we were with our siblings, but part of the reasoning is because of our age. However, I’m super close with my brother and sister and I don’t believe age really matters when you’re adults, but it does impact things when you’re kids. I’d love to have children that have a close bond just as I have and for my husband to get to see that (sometimes I think he wonders what the hell I could possibly be talking about with my family every single day haha, but I think that’s part of what makes life beautiful- having such connection!). Who knows, we may just be blessed with one child and we would be perfectly happy with that!
  • When women bitch about the pitfalls of pregnancy you’ll still get annoyed. I get it- morning/all day sickness isn’t fun, but complaining about it openly on social media outlets will still drive you effing nuts. Some people crave for attention more than others so while it may seem innocent to them to share every single day about how shitty they feel, it can actually be hurting a lot of people. I know- appeasing everyone is impossible, but it’s more about just being a mindful human being. I’d literally bring plastic Wal-Mart or Target bags with me when I left the house the first 15 weeks because I was afraid I might barf at any second, and I still have bouts of nausea at 22 weeks…but you’ll never hear me complain (obviously I’d tell those closest to me that I felt sick when asked, but it was never bitching because as I said earlier, it was a comfort and I was so grateful for that). Certain things may seem sucky, but you know what’s even suckier? Going through morning sickness for weeks and weeks and feeling so much love and so much excitement for this little one growing inside of you, only to have it taken away when you stupidly thought you were in the “safe zone”. Then yearning for it again so long and so hard, spending countless hours crying over negative pregnancy tests and pregnancy announcements, getting shitty test results from the doctor, feeling so alone and angry and sad and everything in between, and enduring uncomfortable and painful procedures to try and get some answers. You look at the miracle of life a tad bit differently, and know that feeling like shit or being constipated or breaking out badly or being tired ISN”T SHIT in the grand scheme of things.
  • You’ll still experience pregnancy jealousy- This is a biggie. I thought I was crazy at first, but I’ve spoken with several women in the loss and infertility community that said they feel the same way. Even though I’m pregnant, I still get weird when I’m sitting at the doctor’s office for an appointment in a room full of super pregnant ladies. Yes, I have a bump, but when women are visibility more pregnant than me, I wish it were me because I’m still so scared. I’ve heard from some women that this feeling eases up once you hit viability, but I don’t know. I’m truly happy when I see pregnancy announcements, but I still wonder how long they were trying. If they announce it super early, I wonder how they have the strength to do so.  The innocence that some women have that never endured a loss or infertility and that have had happy, worry-free pregnancies can be aggravating, especially when they try to give you advice. It’s a very, very different experience.

***I wanted to add a bit more to this before I publish this as I experienced this yet again today while waiting to get my oil changed. I had an ultrasound this morning for another cervical length check, and when I was leaving the room after it was finished I glanced at the nurse’s computer screen and thought I saw the length measuring almost one centimeter shorter than it was about five weeks prior. One centimeter may not seem like a lot but it is when it comes to your cervix during pregnancy. I could still kick myself for not asking the nurse about it, but I know they can’t release much information to you. I’m apprehensive and a bit scared right now and I should be able to pick up the results on Wednesday. I won’t go any further about this until I actually read the report and discuss it with my doctor…but while my car was being tended to, I saw a mother feeding her newborn baby in the waiting area and I once again felt those feelings of jealousy. I’m not even sure if that’s the right word to describe it…it’s more like super intense feelings of hope and desire that I’ll get to that point one day. It took me everything now to to cry. Anyways, it probably sounds odd, but I’m just being real…

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Rainbows have a whole different meaning after a loss. A rainbow baby is one that is born after a couple experiences a miscarriage…

  • You’ll be be hesitant as to what to say when asked if it’s your first. I was kind of taken back when asked if it’s my first, and it was obviously by random people that didn’t know us or by nurses. I always tell the nurses no, it’s not my first. It was (and still is) odd to me when they say, “One child at home?” and I again proceed to say no, the first was a miscarriage. I don’t like how it’s sometimes assumed that I already have a living child. I know people mean absolutely no harm when asking this, but it puts me in a predicament. Do I want to say no- that this is our second, and our first was a late first trimester loss- to those that are asking me just because outside of the doctor’s office? No, because that makes people uncomfortable. And some people don’t recognize miscarriages as “real” children. Or do I say, yes this is our first? This answer makes me feel guilty and sad for not recognizing our first baby. A few times when I said it’s our first, they proceeded to say something along the lines of, “That’s awesome you guys waited so long!” (they obviously knew my age or that we’ve been for quite a while). Seriously…these remarks make me wanna dropkick them…but once again, they don’t know any better… I know I’ll struggle with this question my entire pregnancy, but I truly want to acknowledge our first loss without sounding dramatic or making others feel awkward. But then again, I don’t want to feel uncomfortable either. I’ll always feel that if miscarriage and infertility are more openly discussed, it’ll become less taboo and women will feel less alone.

I know there are so many other instances I could discuss regarding the differences, but I’ll stop there for now. I don’t mean to segregate those that have not endured a loss or infertility from those that have. These are just observations from my personal experience and from what I’ve discussed with other women in similar situations. I feel that the women that I’ve encountered that have been affected are much more guarded than those that still retain the innocence and naiveness of not suffering, but that’s not always the case. However, pregnancy is an absolute beautiful thing and we are all on different paths emotionally and physically with one common denominator- a smooth ride and healthy baby 🙂

Why We are Keeping Her Name to Ourselves and Our Criteria

When people find out that you’re expecting, the questions come flooding in about when you’re due, how you’re feeling, the gender, etc. After people learn the gender, the big question is “What is his/her name?”. I LOVE knowing what others are naming their little one, so I completely understand why the question is asked. I’m weird and I also like to know why certain names were picked- Is there a special meaning behind it? Is it a family name? Did they pick it just because?

As I’ve mentioned before, although I’ve opened up my life about our struggles with enduring a loss and infertility, I’m not that open about everything. Yes, I am documenting my pregnancy but it’s for me to look back on one day. I want to remember all the happiness, sadness, fearfulness, craziness- everything- that it entailed. As you all know, I didn’t even announce the pregnancy on here or other social media outlets until I was nearly four months along and even most family members didn’t know until almost the end of the first trimester. Something happened when I got the positive pregnancy test where I just wanted to keep this amazing miracle a secret. And I can’t explain why.

The news is out that I’m pregnant. Everyone knows that we’re having a baby girl. But the name….that’s something we’re going to be keeping to ourselves. Why? Because we can 😉 No, but for real- not everything has to be an open book. I get that family and friends are excited- we are, too! Lots of people announce the name right away after revealing the gender and that’s great and all but that’s not me (or my husband). Now, obviously I’m not going to be all weird about it to strangers. For example, I was at the dentist yesterday and my hygienist was talking to me about it. I’m never going to see this woman again and she has no connection to our world so why not? Haha. And quite frankly, I don’t want to hear anyone’s opinions about it. If I want your opinion, I’ll ask 😉

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We are 99% sure about it but have recently ran into a hiccup. However, I’m almost certain it won’t change, but Tyler and I have to discuss it again. As cliche as it sounds, when this name came to mind, it seriously warmed my heart. Then I ran it by Tyler and he instantly said yes…and I just knew. There is somewhat of a special meaning behind it as well, which I wanted but it wasn’t a deal- breaker, so it’s perfect!

I will say some things about the criteria of choosing a name though 🙂

  • Our name picks are NOT super trendy. While there are many beautiful popular names, I didn’t want her in a class having like 3 other girls with it as well.
  • Names that are not made up. Either some people don’t think about this or they simply just don’t care, but we didn’t want something crazy where people would question if we were high or not while making this decision. It’s amusing to me when people do this to their children to be unique, but then again, my name is Kimberly which sounds like either a 1960s housewife or hippies name, haha 😉 Just kidding mom- I like my name!
  • No whack ass spellings. Or multiple spellings. We didn’t want something that could be spelled six different ways.
  • We wanted a name that could be shortened for a nickname. Kimberly = Kim or Kimmy. Tyler doesn’t have that option unless you count TJ. Ty drives me crazy, lol, and while I’ve referred to him as TJ on here before, I always just call him Tyler. I wanted the nickname to be just as pretty as the whole name as well. *This wasn’t a deal-breaker either but was taken into consideration and preferred.
  • No exes. I think this rings true for everyone on the planet!
  • Nothing too cute. Let’s face it- some names just more suitable for babies/children OR older adults. We wanted something timeless.
  • Has to flow well together. I’m weird about syllables and after explaining this to Tyler, he understood the importance of proper name flow, haha. A one syllable first and one syllable middle name sounds odd together, for example.

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It may seem like we had a lot of criteria, but we really didn’t. When you say a name out loud you almost always know whether or not you like it. If you think you like a name, say it out loud about a thousand times then see how you feel about it 😉

Tyler didn’t contribute a single first name suggestion at all, haha. I kept asking him to but he’d just tell me to say some and he’d tell me what he thought. I don’t know if it was out of laziness on his part or the fact that he picked the boys name and I didn’t get a say, but it was still fun to think of names and discuss it. A few times I knew he kind of liked the name but he knew somebody that had a kid with it (who cares- we don’t live by them nor have I even met them!) so those were thrown out the window. Lots were rejected right away for no reason other than him not liking them, but I can understand that as I’m the same way- sometimes there isn’t a reason. Which brings us back to the original thoughts of this post 😉

Haha, Tyler and I have some inside jokes about this 😉

As awesome and exciting as this time is, when our little girl makes her debut in the world, that’s when we will announce her name. We’ve been waiting so long and tried so hard for this, so I hope people respect our wishes. I think it’d be fun to put together a post on the ones that were rejected though, so be on the look out for that over the next couple of weeks!

Did you announce the baby name before birth? Why or why not?

How did you choose the baby name?

 

Pregnancy Update (Weeks 19 & 20)

I can’t believe that I’m halfway through the pregnancy! Words can’t describe my happiness, but we are praying everyday that things continue to go well. We have a big move (well, we’re only moving about 5 hours away and it’s only for about 9 months) coming up in just a few weeks, so I’ve been preoccupied with that and researching baby stuff. Time is going by SO much faster than it did in the first trimester, and I know with everything going on that things won’t be slowing down anytime soon 🙂 Anyways, I’m actually in my 21st week now, but let’s take a look back on weeks 19 and 20.

Maternity clothes? Since I’m not working, most of the time I get up, shower, and throw on nicer sweats, haha. I can still wear my normal work out clothes, but I only have a couple of pair of leggings that I can wear comfortably still as they were looser in the stomach area to begin with and stretch nicely without actually stretching out. Normal jeans can still be worn with the belly band, but sometimes it’s a pain…so I decided it was time to go find some maternity jeans! I’m anal about my jeans to begin with and it’s hard to find a nice pair that fit me well. Though I’m actually loving my changing body, I wanted something I could feel good in and not all saggy and frumpy. I purchased two pairs of jeans from Macys- one pair is by Jessica Simpson and the other by Indigo. I thought it was interesting that they use small, medium, large for their sizing and that kind of worried me, but the size small in Jessica Simpson and extra small in Indigo fit me well! No saggy ass, no extra material between the legs- I love them! Seeing that we live in the Southwest, it’s going to start getting hot in April so these two pairs of jeans will for sure be enough for the next couple of months.

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I also got a pair of black capri workout tights and just a plain white quarter length sleeved shirt. I want a pair of black maternity leggings, but the selection there sucked and I kind of ran out of steam to look elsewhere (I can only take so much shopping- I have to try everything on and we all know that’s a pain in the ass during the winter months!). I really don’t think I’ll need to buy any shirts as I have sweaters/short sleeved shirts that were already longer and looser that I’d wear with leggings. I’m sure I’ll buy a summer dress or two when the temperatures start getting warmer, but I have some maxi skirts that will hopefully work.

Stretch marks? Nope

Sleep: Good! I actually only had two episodes of waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep! I felt like shit the next day because of this, of course, but it was really nice sleeping through the night more! I’m using the Snoogle every night and I love it! I’d use that thing if it wasn’t so damn big even if I wasn’t pregnant 🙂 Wrigley loves it too as he snuggles up right against it…that’s a habit we HAVE to break within the next couple of months and it’s going to break my heart. Some people think it’s gross when dogs sleep in the bed with you, but he’s clean and I wash the sheets once a week and fluff them every morning…and when you’re husband is gone in the field or deployed for weeks/months on end, it feels damn good to have something that loves you and relies on you to cuddle with you every night!

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Yes, that’s a one legged bear on our bed. I use it to shield my stomach from Wrigley when we’re cuddling, haha.

Best moment: Having the anatomy scan done and finding out that everything looks great! I believe she said she’s in the 39th percentile for weight. My husband was an effing huge baby (like almost 10 pounds or something at birth) and I was 6 pounds 12 oz., and while a healthy baby is all that matters, I’d much prefer her taking after me! However, I know now is the time that the baby really starts growing and putting on weight, so we shall see 🙂

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I don’t like sharing ultrasound pictures, but here’s a glimpse of her little foot!!!

I turned 30 on the 9th and had the anatomy scan the day before and turned 20 weeks on my actually day which was pretty darn special.

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Shopping for maternity pants was also a great moment. It felt so awesome yet surreal to be doing it, and as I tried stuff on, I’d just stare and rub my belly in amazement that this was really happening. I may or may not have cried for a minute or two 😉

The absolutely BEST moment was feeling the baby kick- like really kick on the morning of January 14 (20w5d). I was eating breakfast and felt it (baby girl must love my homemade healthy breakfast sandwiches!), then instantly lifting up my shirt and saw the movements. I placed my hand on my stomach to feel it and just bask in the moment. I tried taking a video to send Tyler but she decided that was enough and stopped, haha.

Miss anything? No…besides the same food I mentioned last time. And I like sleeping flat on my back. While I don’t think I necessarily miss it, it’s just what I’ve always been used to and I sleep better that way.

Movement: See above! I learned at my anatomy scan that my placenta is anterior (meaning it’s in the way of the baby and my stomach), so movements are quite muffled. I was somewhat worried that I hadn’t felt as much as some people said they had at about 18-19 weeks, but after learning this, I felt so much better! I’m starting to feel flutters and ripples more frequently. It’s usually twice a day- once in the morning and then again in the evening or right before bed.

Food cravings: Still no cravings. Things will sound good, but it’s not crazy to the point where I must have them or else. My homemade smoothies have been good for an afternoon snack or if I’m running errands and need something on hand. Raw veggies (cucumber, cherry tomatoes, carrots) with hummus or Greek yogurt ranch dip are good! Good cheese with whole wheat crackers and a sliced honey crisp apple. And sliced hardboiled eggs with (very little!) salt, black pepper, and paprika as well. I’ve never been a huge lunch person and smaller portions work better, so I often times make snack plates with a variety of this stuff! We’ve actually been making more healthy dinners (we need to use up all of our stuff before we move!) and it’s exciting that not everything in the effing world sounds awful anymore!

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Snack plate! Our kids WILL love veggies despite their daddy hating them. He’s going to have to pretend to be a big boy as I ain’t tolerating that shit with our kids, haha.

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Red sauce, ice cream (pretty much all desserts), pasta (we made it one night and I had a little but felt sick and now I can’t even think about it!), and chicken is still hit or miss.

Workouts: Same as last post. Cardio (walking/walking with free weights) a few days a week (actually most days, even if it’s just for 10-15 minutes. I’m obsessed with getting my steps in on my Fitbit, haha), light weights, and yoga. Although I don’t even think I’m gonna call it yoga anymore as it’s basically just stretching. I’m so NOT flexible and I don’t want to pull a muscle giving birth or some shit, so I’m hoping to gain some flexibility over the next few months.

Showing? Yes! You can definitely tell I’m pregnant and not just have a beer belly or gut!

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Gender: Girl 🙂

Symptoms: I don’t know how I forgot to mention this before, but my hair has been taking a beating during this pregnancy. My normal long, thick hair has been literally breaking off like in the middle- not from the root- since super early on in the pregnancy. I know I went from bleach blonde back to brown which is a process, but this shit has been nuts. I’m NOT complaining though! I ended up switching salons and went to an Aveda salon where the girl took me back to my normal dark brown color (I was a mousy brown for a couple of months and I hated it. It was like brown gray and seriously looked awful as it kept fading). She also gave me a deep conditioning treatment (I only wash my hair once/twice a week at home, don’t judge- my hair doesn’t get greasy fast! I deep condition my hair weekly with good stuff my mom sends me), but it was different than what I do myself. She ended up having to cut off quite a lot because of how damanged it was, but reassured me that it’s super normal during pregnancy to lose hair whether it’s at the root or breakage further down. I only use hot products on my hair a couple of times a month and never put my tools above 360 degrees, so I know it’s not from anything I’m doing on my end. My mom was a hair stylist for years so I’m no dummy when it comes to hair maintenance 😉 Anyways, I wanted to point that out since I always wrongly assumed your hair got even better when you were pregnant.

I’m also still sneezing a lot throughout the day. Then there’s the obvious- the growing belly and bigger boobs!

Belly button in or out? In, but it’s getting really flat.

Wedding ring on or off? On

Emotions: I’ve been much less moody during weeks 19-20, but way more emotional! Like crying over little things- even things I find heartfelt. Stress might have something to do with this as we’re moving two states over in a few weeks.

Looking forward to: Honestly, viability. I’ve set milestones throughout this pregnancy, and while I know nothing is certain, I’m hoping it’ll calm my anxiety a bit. But who are we kidding- it probably won’t! I’m also looking forward to the move. Luckily, the army is moving us, but there is still a bunch of shit we have to do. I found an OB that I want to go to out there (I will be seen by civilian doctors since the base is so small), and I’m eager to get to Arizona and meet with them and get the glucose test done (I’ll be just over 24 weeks when we move and will need that test done within 2-3 weeks of being there). While I don’t like the actual process of change, I’m looking forward to a new place and moving on!

What’s Going on with Baby: She weighs about 10.5 oz and is about 6.5 inches long- about the size of a banana. Her uterus is fully formed this week and her vaginal canal is starting its development. She also has primitive eggs in her tiny little ovaries now, seven million of them. By the time she’s born, that number will be down to two million (still more than she could ever hope to use) — all the eggs she’ll ever have.

It’s Okay…and So Are You

***This post was written in early September right after we just experienced another failed medicated cycle (Femara). Little did I know that I’d miraculously get pregnant this cycle…with no medication, only herbal supplements for us both (when I was on a medicated cycle I never took Vitex or Fertilaid as it can counteract with it, but I’d still take Pregnitude, baby aspirin, and drink fertility tea. Tyler was on Fertilaid for men and CoQ10 to help count and morphology). I did eat the pineapple core after ovulation which I had never done before. Anyways, I didn’t want to post this after I got the positive pregnancy test and I debated whether or not to delete it altogether, but I as I sat hear crying while rereading it, I vividly remembered the pain I felt all those months. I think it’s important to share as trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster.

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I’ve had bouts of depression since high school. There, I said it. Now I don’t want to act like it’s been absolutely horrible because that’s certainly not the case, but it’s affected me and probably some relationships in my life at some point. Before I go any further, I want to say that I’m obviously no psychologist or therapist, but I’ve seen a handful over the past fifteen years or so. I’ve truly tried to analyze their perspectives and have taken what they’ve said into consideration as I’ve gotten older. One of the things that was often discussed was how I’d brush my feelings or problems under the rug and not deal with them. I acted as if they didn’t exist so I basically wouldn’t have to feel certain things…but then I’d get to the point of feeling so much, that I’d basically have a meltdown. Just kidding…kind of 😉

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I’ve fortunately learned to recognize my feelings and understand that it’s okay and actually important to really feel them- even the negative ones. It helps you grow and change for the better. Now, instead of holding in my tears when I’m sad, pissed off, or frustrated, I cry. This post portrays certain emotions I feel throughout the duration of a cycle.

I just want to say:

It’s okay to feel sad and disappointed when you get a negative pregnancy test. Month after month of one line gets fucking exhausting.

It’s okay to feel excited when you finally start a new cycle. Yes, you’re pissed off that you’re not pregnant, but this is a fresh start and could be the month!

It’s okay to feel content when you’re on your period. You know there’s nothing you can do to procreate right now, so you just enjoy these next few days (as much as you can, haha).

It’s okay to feel anxious when you start using OPK’s (I use THESE tests and sometimes the more expensive ones by Clear Blue). I start testing on cycle day 11 and every day after that until I get a positive…if I never get a positive, I stop testing after day 20. Not worth my sanity or money 😉 It’s disappointing when you see negative ovulation tests. I almost always think, “F this- I want some sushi” and flick it in the garbage. But you keep on swimming, hoping that the next day the line is darker.

It’s okay to feel over the fucking moon when you get a positive OPK. I’m almost always at work when I’m testing (second long held pee of the day), so I hopelessly take a test each day around the same time, and as they get darker, I want to go do cartwheels. For real. Nevertheless, I restrain myself and send my hubby the positive test photo. Funny how sexy pictures were a priority and always sent while dating (still do to keep it fresh!)….and how things have changed 😉

It’s okay to do whatever you think might help get those little men to your egg. Using Pre-Seed or Conceive Plus, doing various positions, propping yourself up with pillows afterwards while your hubby heats up your dinner and brings it to you (hope to God I’m not the only one that does this), doing handstands, using soft cups (Google it if you don’t know what they are, haha).

It’s okay to take it easy after you think you’ve ovulated. Working out has become less of a priority, but it’s great to walk, do light weights, and yoga.

It’s okay to also turn down invitations. I’ve learned that I don’t need to attend everything- just the important things. Don’t go to baby showers or gender reveal parties if you’re struggling. Honestly, who the fuck had a gender reveal party 10 years ago? Or even 5? Don’t get me wrong, they’re cute and all, but come on now. (Ok, these are cute, but I was upset).

It’s okay to seclude yourself if that’s what you need. I know- relationships are a two way street. Sadness should not consume your life and there will be good days and bad. However, just because you want to be alone or not engage in social activities, doesn’t mean that you don’t want to keep in touch or that you’re weak. You simply gotta do you right now.

It’s okay to get anxious as you reach the end of your cycle and to debate on whether or not you should test. Part of you still feels a glimmer of hope. When you test and it’s negative, you feel defeated yet again (although if you’re a maniac and test WAY too early, then it could be too soon to detect any HCG).

It’s okay to research the shit out of every random pregnancy related symptom that comes to mind (I’ve Googled some weird ass things people. #noshame ;)) But STOP YOURSELF. It’s okay a few times, but it’s going to drive you freaking crazy and only cause more unnecessary stress.

It’s okay cry after the test is negative. I’ve become numb to it so I don’t anymore, but that doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t sting.

It’s okay to drink a bottle glass of wine when you start your period. And order sushi To-Go. Then eat sunny side up eggs for breakfast the next morning and get Subway for lunch with turkey deli meat.

It’s okay to go home to your husband and just asked to be held. Not only do you feel disappointed, but you feel like you let him down again.

The point is- it’s okay to truly FEEL. Let yourself engage in emotions. I know when I bottle up feelings or issues I have kept inside for too long, it isn’t pretty, nor is it healthy. When you’ve been trying to conceive for months on end, you kind of become someone else in way. You think about certain things in life differently and your thoughts and actions often revolve around what time of the month it is. And you absolutely cannot relate to those that “weren’t even trying” or it only took one or two months for. In fact, it hurts hearing that kind of stuff…

Can you relate to emotions fluctuating throughout a cycle?

It’s a…..

My husband and I have known the gender since 14 weeks and I must say- it’s been a fun little secret to keep between the two of us. We told close family during weeks 18-19, and though this isn’t the sole reason we waited to announce on social media, I know how difficult it is to see pregnancy-related content during the holiday season, and I didn’t want to bombard people with that.  Anyways, my inclination of the gender was right! Tyler wouldn’t guess, haha. But in all honestly, we had ZERO preferences. I know many guys want a little boy and women want a little girl so they can each mold them into their “mini-me’s”…or to have a boy first so they can “protect” their younger siblings…or whatever. But our main concern was just a healthy baby.

With that, we are SO incredibly happy and excited to announce that we’re expecting a baby GIRL!

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This past weekend, January 9th, I celebrated my 30th birthday and being 20 weeks pregnant. We had a little photo session in our home which was is isn’t that easy considering the lighting isn’t great in most areas of the house and when we take pictures together we have to use the selfie stick, haha. I will for sure get professional maternity photos done later on! Anyways, we went out for brunch to my favorite local spot, then ran a few errands including a trip to Babies R Us. The evening was spent at home relaxing and watching House of Cards…and it was perfect 🙂

Although I was right with my guess, I was still surprised as I always felt like I’d be a boy mom. I’ve never been into princess-y, frilly pink stuff, haha.

We cannot wait to start this new chapter in our lives with our baby girl!

 

 

Old Wives Tales on Gender Prediction- What’s Your Guess?!

Although they aren’t accurate, it was fun to look up old wives tales and guess what we were having. Today, I’m sharing some of the things I looked up- let’s see how I compare!

1. Heart Rate. If the baby’s heart rate is below 140, it’s a boy. If it’s above, it’s a girl.

Ours has been consistently in the 140’s or 150’s.

Predictor says: GIRL

2. How You Carry: If you are carrying big, round and high, it’s a girl. Low and all in front is a boy.

I’ll probably get some eye-rolling here, but my stomach was flat and I had decent abs pre-pregnancy. That being said, I was bloated the first several weeks, but I didn’t notice a change until week 12 when I got a little pooch. Over the next several weeks, that pooch started to expand. I feel like I’m carrying in the middle but all in front…but I actually have no clue, haha. I’m sure it’s easier to determine if you’ve already had a kid 🙂

Predictor says: UNSURE

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Week 18

3. Acne and Skin Blemishes: It’s said that girls are supposed to “steal your beauty” and that your skin doesn’t tend to go crazy with a boy.
I’ve been lucky that I’ve never battled acne and just had a few zits here and there. However, my skin has definitely been breaking out. I’ve switched up my skin regimen as I wanted to use more gentle products on my face and not use anything with salicylic acid (I ensured nothing I was using had it when I found out I was pregnant. I could no longer use my normal daily moisturizer and face wash because of this, but Clean n Clear and my night time moisturizer were fine). I’m currently using Cetaphil face clothes, wash, moisturizer, and body lotion but didn’t switch to that until week 16. Seriously, I’m NOT complaining but concealer has been my best friend! My skin has gotten better since switching over to Cetaphil, but I still get them here and there. This week was pretty bad, but it may have been due to extra stress as well.

Predictor says: GIRL

4. Cravings: Sweet cravings means it’s a girl, salty and sour cravings points to boy.

I tend to normally have a sweet tooth, but I have NO desire to eat any sweets since my food aversions started in week 5.  I’ll eat sweets here and there, but I’m completely fine without them. I haven’t really been craving anything actually, although more bland carbs were the only things I could tolerate the first trimester. So, I guess I’m wanting more salty foods?

Predictor says: BOY

5. Morning Sickness: If you suffer from morning sickness, it’s a girl. If you’re feeling pretty normal, it’s a boy.

I had all day sickness since week 7, although it started to let up around week 15. I still have moments of feeling sick almost every day, but it’s not constant anymore.

Predictor says: GIRL.

6. Skin Test: Dry, rough skin means it’s a boy. Soft skin means it’s a girl.

It’s winter in west Texas, so that probably has a lot to do with it, but my skin has definitely been dry!

Predictor says: BOY

7. Chinese Gender Chart:
I used the one on Baby Center and it said boy. The one on The Bump said girl. These things are so dumb, haha.

Predictor says: UNSURE

8. Leg Hair: If your leg hair grows faster, it’s a boy. If not, it’s a girl.

I honestly haven’t noticed a difference, but I shave my legs literally every time I shower, so I never go more than a day without using a razor. I hate feeling stubble!

Predictor says: UNSURE

9. Mood: If you’re moodier than usual, it’s a girl. If you’re chill, it’s a boy.

This one isn’t that fair seeing that pregnancy after loss and infertility will definitely not make anyone “chill”. I have moments of being both completely chill and other times I feel like a crazy, possessed woman 😉

Predictor says: TOSS UP

10. What’s Your Guess?!

Based on what you read above or just your inclination, what do you think?

*****If you live away from your family and friends and can wait to tell them the gender, click the picture below to get a simple idea so that they can feel a part of the special time!

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I found this poem online and added the last four lines to personalize it to send to some family members earlier this week. I bought gender reveal scratch off tickets off Amazon to include with it! Had to get creative since we’re not home with our family and friends for a gender reveal party 😦

 

Pregnancy Update (Weeks 15-18)

I slightly changed the highlights as I’ve seen this layout on a few blogs and I wanted to give it a try. I feel like this month went by a lot faster, but that happens with the holiday season. Not complaining though- I’m glad it flew by!

Maternity clothes? Not yet, but my jeans don’t button anymore so I’ve been using the belly band which is awesome! The one I got on Amazon was kinda price ($30 or so), but it has elastic on it which helps keep it in place so I think it was well worth it!

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Wearing my normal skinny jeans with the belly band at 18 weeks.

Stretch marks? No…I use Burt’s Bee’s Mama Bee belly butter in the morning after I shower and then again before bed. I also drink (always have) a ton of water and heard that staying hydrated helps. I don’t even know if I’m going to include this one on here anymore. I mean, every woman hopes to avoid stretch marks, but it can happen and that’s totally fine if it does. Genetics influences this and my mom didn’t get any so we shall see.

Sleep: Good! Except for the nights that I wake up between 3-4 AM and cannot fall back asleep for an hour or two. I’m getting up once or twice to pee, but I’m sleeping well. I have regained enough energy where I don’t have to take a nap during the day anymore, but I’m in bed between 9-10pm and sleeping until 7am or so. When I wake up randomly in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep, it kicks my ass the next day and I feel much more nauseous.

Best moment: We announced the pregnancy publicly (Facebook, Instagram, and the blog) at 15.5 weeks! It felt great to get it out in the open and the amount of support I’ve gotten is amazing 🙂 I also had two ultrasounds done to check my cervical length- one at 15 weeks and one at 17 weeks. You want the cervix to stay closed and be between 2.5-5cm in length. Because I had two LEEP procedures done to treat precancerous cells in my early 20s (one at 19/20 and one at 22/23), my doctor wanted to see exactly how much of cervix was left. During a LEEP, they remove abnormal tissue by cutting it away with a thin electrified loop. I actually had my third abnormal PAP and they found precancerous cells again when I was 25, but my GYN didn’t want to perform a third LEEP because I was so young and hadn’t had children yet. I was on the medication, Aldara Imiquimod, for three months and it fortunately worked. Anyways, my cervical length measured 3.5 cm both times! I will have another measurement taken at 20 weeks.  And one last great moment- hearing the baby’s heart beat! It is always my absolute favorite thing 🙂

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Miss anything? No. Well, I miss certain restaurants from back home. Why the hell does El Paso not have a Panera Bread? I’ve been wanting some broccoli cheese soup in a sourdough bread bowl from there. Our Super Target sells Panera soups but that shit is NOT the same. I’ve also been wanting Gelsosomo’s Pizza and lemon rice soup with rolls from Broadway Cafe back home.

Movement: I’ve felt little flutters- it almost feels like waves- a few times, but that’s it. It’s not consistent and didn’t happen the same time every day or anything, so I’m not really sure.

Food cravings: Papa John’s cheesy bread during week 15. And everything I listed above that I can’t get here, haha. Vegetables finally started making a comeback during week 15! I got a veggie delite sub with extra pepper jack cheese from Subway a few times and it was super good! Raw baby carrots and cucumber with Greek yogurt ranch dip was sounding good starting at 17 weeks. I was also able to introduce cottage cheese back into my life which was exciting. Some people think cottage cheese is gross (perhaps it’s a texture thing?), but it’s a great source of healthy fats and protein! I’ve always eaten it with crackers- I don’t like mixing it sweeter foods, like fruits. Velveeta shells and cheese!!!!

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Chicken. Red sauce pastas (although I can do pizza with light sauce). Sweets still sound pretty gross, but sometimes I’ll just want a bite or two of something sweet. A lot of things still sound gross that I normally like. We went to see Star Wars when I was 17 weeks and the theater was packed. Seriously, I think every single person in there was eating popcorn with jalapenos and the smell was horrific to me. I hate jalapenos to begin with though 😦

Workouts: Same as last month- walking a few days a week on the treadmill at an incline. The weather has gotten cold here and I’m a little bitch in the cold now so I haven’t been walking Wrigley outside 😦 Stretching and yoga as well, but I’m honestly not a huge fan of yoga. I think it’d be better if I was taking actual classes instead of laying on my mat in my bedroom in front of the TV or my ipad, haha.

Showing? Yes- a little! My stomach started getting rounder around week 12, but it became more noticeable to us around week 15.

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Gender:  We found out during week 14…we will share soon! My next post is about gender and old wives tales 🙂

Symptoms: Food Aversions, fatigue, sneezing a lot throughout the day

Belly button in or out? In.

Wedding ring on or off? On…but I only wear it when I go out. I’m not one of those women that wears theirs 24/7! Is that weird?

Emotions: Oh my god…all over the place. For real, I’m feeling normal one second then bat shit the next. My husband and I are both pretty stubborn people to begin with, haha. I actually asked my doctor if it was normal to go from good to raging to crying in a span of like 30 minutes. She reassured me it is 😉 I’m still scared and nervous, but each day has gotten a bit easier. I don’t cry as often from worry- I’m really trying to enjoy each and every day. I do have to say that I’m still emotional when going to my OB appointments. This might sound so fucked up, but I still get jealous when I see pregnant women with big ol’ bellies…I explained this to my doctor at 18.5 weeks and she also said this is completely normal when pregnant after experiencing a miscarriage and infertility. I actually have a post that I started which I’ll share soon regarding this.

Looking forward to: Our anatomy scan on Janurary 8th! I’m super nervous about it though. My 30th birthday is the next day, January 9- I can’t wait for it! (just kidding).

What’s Going on with Baby: The baby is about 5.5 inches long, weighs roughly 7 ounces, and can flex it’s arms and legs. Ears are in their final position and and protective layer of myelin is beginning to form around nerves which is a process that will continue for a year after birth. The baby can now be easily distinguished by it’s genitals 🙂