Pregnancy Update (Weeks 37-38)

Still pregnant! Tomorrow I’ll be 39 weeks, so I’m posting this recap of the past two weeks today.

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Stretch marks? Nope.

Sleep: Really good when I can sleep. I’ve been good for the most part (aside from getting up about 3 times), but I’ve had a few nights when I woke up and could NOT fall back asleep. My mind was racing and I was having just all around anxiety but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was from. I know I’m at the point in the pregnancy when all we can do is wait until she’s ready to come, but I’m still so, so worried will happen…I hate writing this and I’m NOT being negative- just being truthful. I know it’s my anxiety that’s getting the best of me, but I’ll go into more detail later in this post.

Best moment: Feeling her moving around…I absolutely LOVE this about pregnancy. Spending evenings and weekends with Tyler. We’ve been grilling out, watching movies at home, going to the movies (well, only twice as there isn’t much out that looks good), and it’s nice having this time together without rushing to do last minute things. My brother got me a baby book for her that I spent time earlier this week filling out (well, I filled out what I could about the pregnancy and whatnot). It obviously mostly focuses on her first couple of years, and it was probably my most favorite gift. My grandma gave me my dads a few months ago, and it’s so cool to read. I know it’s not something she’ll appreciate until she’s way older, but I think having stuff like this is important. I’m sure every first time mom says that, but I’m pretty good with keeping up with things like thatūüėČ We also got our maternity pictures back (had them done at 37 weeks exactly), and I LOVE them!

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Miss anything? Aside from some of the food I’ve mentioned in the last couple of posts, no.

Movement: Yes- some days she’s more active than others though.

Food cravings: Nothing sounds great anymore. I like breakfast and dinner the best and like looking forward to these meals, but seriously nothing sounds appetizing. So no, there haven’t been any cravings. My homemade smoothies are probably what I want the most though, but I always crave these when the weather is hot.

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Not really. Easy, simple meals are what sound the best though.

Workouts: Walking a shit ton!!! Seriously, I’ve been using my Fitbit after not using it for basically the entire pregnancy (walking to and from the bathroom was my exercise the first 4-5 months, haha), and I’ve been logging in at least 10,000 steps a day which may not sound like much, but when you’re almost 40 weeks pregnant, I’ll say that’s pretty damn goodūüėČ The weather is beautiful here and I really enjoy these leisurely walks- sometimes alone and sometimes with the dogs (one at a time, I can’t handle walking both of them together!). Light free weights as well. And stretching. I’m still so not flexible, haha.

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37 weeks.

Showing? Yes.

Gender: Girl.

Symptoms: Lower back pain -it’s really hard to get comfortable. I think I stand/walk so much because sometimes that feels better than sitting down. This is probably TMI but it’s a fact that I didn’t know about beforehand, but leakage. We actually went to Triage about two weeks ago because I thought there might be a leak in my amniotic fluid sack (it’s a clear liquid). They tested it and it wasn’t, but yeah. It’s a lot, no fun, and kinda freaks me out sometimes. Contractions but nothing consistent.

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Belly button in or out?  Out.

Wedding ring on or off? On

Emotions: As I mentioned above, I’ve been pretty anxious. Don’t get me wrong- I’m enjoying this time with myself and my husband before everything changes. I’m relaxing, watching shows, reading books, enjoying walks, etc., but I’ve had some not-so-great moments. I’m pretty sure many pregnant women get like this at this point, but I’m also terrified and I’m not sure if that’s relatable to those that have not experienced a loss or infertility. Losses haunt you no matter how far along you were. Infertility makes you think that this is too good to be true, and with these two aspects coupled together, you live in a state of apprehension and fear.

With someone that deals with anxiety to begin with, it’s quite…overwhelming…when you’re pregnant and have these issues behind you. Medication (though I wasn’t on it that long- just after our miscarriage and when Tyler deployed), exercise, and having a drink (not a good way to deal with anxiety or depression, I know) were ways that I dealt with this before…and I had none of this throughout the past nine months to help calm my emotions. It’s been challenging, but also an awesome thing as I’ve had to find other outlets to push out my fears, such as talking through them with those closest to me, crafting, organizing, and really just taking a good, hard look at what I’m feeling at the moment and why. I could go on about this, but I’ll stop here. I just want it to be known that while we’ve been so incredibly blessed to be experiencing a pregnancy, it’s still very scary.

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Belly is SO tight!!!

Looking forward to?  Meeting our baby girl- hopefully within the next WEEK!!!!

Pregnancy Update (Weeks 35-36)

Today I’m 37w2d! The past couple of weeks have been somewhat nerve-wracking, but all is well:) At my OB appointment during week 35, the doctor wanted me to get another ultrasound done to recheck her growth. This is a huge pain in the ass because they send me to a diagnostic place to get it done, but before it can be scheduled, my insurance needs to authorize it first. Standard, but when your anxious about your baby, it’s annoying with how long this process can take. I was able to get in six days later- the day before my next OB appointment.

Everything was measuring fine (just a couple of days behind), but the tech couldn’t get a good measurement of her head….again. After 45 minutes of trying everything to get little girl to move her head, the tech finally just said she was going to take the best read and sent me on my way, but told me that her head was measuring in the 2 percentile. UMMM, WTF?! Thank God my doctor appointment was the next day- it was such a long night trying not to think about what this could possibly mean.

My husband surprised me and showed up at the appointment which was awesome. He hasn’t been able to go to any of them except the initial¬†appointment here at like 25 weeks¬†because of work which is totally fine, but I was nervous going into this one. We saw one of the OB’s that we haven’t met with before and he seemed really great- I’m glad that I’ve met them all now and will feel comfortable delivering with any of them! Anyways, we gave a quick background of what’s going on and he looked up the results…everything looks fine! The reason why the tech couldn’t get a good read is because of how low the baby’s head is in the birth canal already. He said there’s absolutely no way she could get a good picture at this point and seemed a little annoyed that she told me what she did and didn’t realize it. He also checked and I’m 2cm dilated and 100% effaced…and he could feel her head, haha. This was a little creepy, and no, I ain’t about to try and check myself. Those checks aren’t fun at all ;)¬†This doesn’t mean much as I know I could stay this way for a while, but at least there’s a little progression!

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35w3d

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Stretch marks? Nope.

Sleep: It’s good, but I’m getting up at least 3 times. I’m ready to stop using that damn Snoogle as well (although it’s super comfy!).

Best moment: Getting the good results from the doctor! My mom and my dad and his girlfriend also sent me the most touching Mother’s Day cards (obviously separate, haha).¬†It was an awesome surprise and really made me feel good…It’s the little things- I remember stuff like thatūüėČ

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I unfortunately fell off the wagon with taking these pictures…there’s a gap between weeks 25-31 and 31-36, haha. Oops!

Also, I wasn’t planning on getting maternity photos done. I’ve taken a million selfies (sorry, people) and Tyler’s taken a handful of nicer shots with our nice camera that I’ve edited a bit to look cooler (the background and lighting and stuff- I’m still learning!)…so I didn’t see the point of spending money on them. Plus, we’re like super awkward when taking photos together, haha, and he could care less about being in any of them. However, I REALLY want newborn pictures. I’m sure I could do them myself and save a ton of money, but it’s not the same and I didn’t want that extra stress. After some discussion and searching around, I found a local photographer who does newborn shoots that look great (it’s imperative to ensure that photographers have worked with newborns before! Don’t just hire any photographer for this…at least, I didn’t want someone messing with our daughter that didn’t have much experience handling a tiny baby). Anyways, she had a deal going on that you got a mini maternity shoot when getting a newborn session done, so we, of course, took it. However, I had nothing to wear…serious issue, I know. I wasn’t about to go buy something for one day and I didn’t want to wear the dress I wore at the shower (it was outside and just didn’t fit with the feel of where we were at)…so I wore a boho type flowy short dress…it’ll be interesting to see what I looked like, haha. I just hope we got some good pics of Tyler and me- all we’ve pretty much had are selfies the past four years!

Below are a few that Tyler took at exactly 36 weeks. Part of me feels so weird taking lots of photos, but the other part of me gives no F and is embracing this time.¬†Some people may be uncomfortable with belly shots, and there was probably a time I may¬†have given it an eye roll as well…but I’ll never forget the days that I longed for this…that I’d look at very pregnant women and wonder¬†what it was like. I mean damn, I see¬†gym selfies all the¬†freaking time documenting #progress, so why the hell not document my¬†#bellyprogress ;)¬†Anyways,¬†¬†my husband did good with the pics, but I’m¬†only showing a few.¬†I was wearing lace underwear in some of them, but don’t worry, I cropped that out, haha. Nothing was showing and they’re super tasteful, but I do draw the line…sometimes:)

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Miss anything? Sushi and over easy eggs over avocado and cheddar on¬†toast. I seriously want both SO bad. And a turkey sandwich (I’ve avoided all lunch meat).

Movement: Yep! Most active in the early morning and evening.

Food cravings: See above. No real cravings, but smoothies are still great.

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Nope!

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36w5d.

Workouts: Walks and light free weights. Lots of stretching but nothing of a routine.

Showing? Yes…although I’m not as big as I anticipated I’d be. I don’t know if I thought I was going to get ginormous or what, but I’m glad I didn’t buy more maternity clothes. I’ve actually only worn my one pair of maternity jeans that I found on clearance at H&M for $7- they’re my favorite and don’t look maternity at all! I wish I would’ve taken back the other two pairs of Jessica Simpson one’s I got because I’ve literally worn those once each…oh well.

Gender: Girl.

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Symptoms: Lot’s of shooting pain towards my crotch. Doc said this is her resting inside my pelvis. Fatigue. A bit hormonal, but I’ve felt much better these past two weeks than the two weeks prior. Lower back aches as the day goes on.

Belly button in or out?¬† Out, but it’s not like super out.

Wedding ring on or off? On

Emotions: Nervous and excited! I can’t believe we’re almost there…and I can’t fucking wait to become a family of three.

Looking forward to? Getting one last pedicure and a hair touch up this week (don’t tell Tyler, haha). I know I won’t be completely tied to the house forever, but I’d rather relax and pamper myself a bit now and not be bitching about how God awful my hair looks in a monthūüėČ I’m just¬†really enjoying this time now, and¬†I’m so glad I got things done pretty early.¬†The house is super clean and organized¬†(scrubbing kitchen floors at 37 weeks pregnant is no¬†fun though), and I can basically do whatever I want¬†right now…sit outside and read,¬†take the dogs on a walk whenever, come and go to¬†stores just to browse around¬†(although our options are very limited in this town…boo), take a nap¬†or watch TV if I please. I know everything is on the verge of changing, and I don’t plan on being a SAHM for¬†longer than the first year, if that, so when and if I do get pregnant again,¬†it’ll be an entirely different experience. I’m really grateful for how the timing worked out…although¬†we like money…so having¬†only a few stores in town is good, haha.

Pregnancy Update (Weeks 32-34)

So…I’m technically not writing on the blog anymore, but these pregnancy updates are important to me. I really want to have them to look back on, you know? So today I’m just sharing how things have been regarding pregnancy the past three weeks:)

Maternity clothes? Yes- although I can fit into normal workout shorts (I wear them below my belly obviously!)…all shirts are maternity. However, I’ve been wearing dresses or a swim suit a lot, haha. It’s getting hot here!

Stretch marks? Nope. I heard sometimes they don’t show up until after birth? Anyone know if this is true?

Sleep: Good for the most part aside from getting up 2-3 times a night…but when I sleep, I sleep hard!

Best moment: I know you’re never truly “ready”, but I feel relieved and happy that things are pretty much done in preparation of her! Nursery is complete, clothes and all of her stuff is washed and organized, healthy freezer meals/snacks are all made, labeled, and stowed away, car seat inspection is done, hospital and diaper bag are put together. The next several weeks are devoted to “me” time and time with my husband- doing whatever the heck we want! I think this is important and I’m so glad I got shit done early so we have this extra time and aren’t scrambling for last minute things.

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32 weeks

Miss anything? Sleeping without waking up to pee a bunch of times and literally rolling out of bed, haha. It’s no biggie, but the only thing I can think of!

Movement: Yep- some days she’s super active and others she’s more laid back…

Food cravings: My sister mentioned and she made biscuits and gravy a few weeks ago and I needed to have it! I bought the stuff to make it (healthy version of course- turkey breakfast sausage and whole wheat biscuits, haha), so I think we’ll have that Sunday night. My normal pre-pregnancy sweet tooth is kinda back. Ice cream sounded so gross to me for like the past seven months, but I’ve been wanting it lately. Although I can’t have much- just a few bites and I’m satisfied….which is still unusual for me, haha. Fruit is still SO good- I got a mini watermelon, pineapple, and cantaloupe on sale the other day and I’m excited to make a huge fruit salad this weekend. Grapes, sliced Ambrosia or Honey Crisp apples, and pears are what I had this week. Cucumbers are also good right now- like even plain, haha.¬†

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Mexican food is still unappealing. The smell of strong coffee (I haven’t had any coffee at all- just a few sips of Tyler’s iced coffee every now and then).

Workouts: Just walking the dogs, free weights for arms, and stretching! I’ve been using the birthing ball to sit on during the day and when I’m stretching and it feels SO good! I’ve never had back issues and I think stretching and using the ball are helping.

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34 weeks.

Showing? Um yesūüėČ

Gender: Girl.

Symptoms: Contractions have eased up a bit- I did go back to Triage two weeks ago for contractions and cramping and had another NST done. I’ve been keeping stress to a minimum (not over-analyzing the future and whatnot) and it’s seemed to have helped. As I mentioned above, my back is started to hurt…and fatigue which is normal in the third trimester. My stomach is literally rock hard. Everyone says I’m “all belly”, so I don’t know if that’s it or what, but it feels so weird!!!

Belly button in or out? Out…and it’s weird!¬†

Wedding ring on or off? On

Emotions: UMMM, haha. All over the place.

Looking forward to: My next OB appointment! I’ll be seen weekly from here on out and next week I do the Strep B test and have a pelvic exam done. We’re also taking more pictures this weekend! I opted out of maternity photos and we’re doing our own. I couldn’t find anything I liked to wear IF we had them done (what I wanted out Etsy would’ve taken a month to get done and shipped to me- I didn’t want to risk not having time if she comes early) and I wasn’t too impressed with the photographers I looked at…I don’t know, I was just kinda like ehhh about it. It was fun to do our own a few weeks ago (32 weeks), but I need to learn how to use damn Photoshop on our computer, haha. I figured we’d do a few more this weekend at 35 weeks and then again at 38.

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32 weeks.

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

A Farewell Post & Nursery Reveal

***As many of you are probably aware, my blog was shut down last week. I had a handful of people (bloggers and personal contacts) reach out to ensure the baby and me were okay- we are! I apologize for leaving anyone hanging or worried- this was a personal choice. Living in Bliss has been an awesome outlet for me over the past couple of years. I’ve opened myself up more than I ever thought I could with writing about being newly married and starting our lives together at our first duty station (Fort Bliss- hence, where the name came from, haha), to experiencing a heartbreaking loss, TTC again,¬†battling infertility, going through a deployment alone, trying to find myself, and discussing sensitive¬†topics such as self esteem, self confidence, and floundering as a late teen and early adult. I can’t tell you how many times I sat writing with tears streaming down my face as I navigated through these issues and felt SO much better after I got it all out. I know- this is not a diary and I could’ve easily done the same thing without sharing it with others…but I know how it feels to¬†deny your feelings so that you feel less alone, or weird, or lost, and if I could help one person feel a little better and give them hope, then it was worth it.

With that being said, http://www.livingnbliss.com no longer exists, but I am keeping http://www.livingnbliss.wordpress.com up and searchable. Despite the blog being down for merely a week, I had a few people ask about miscarriage/infertility stuff and I want¬†my journey¬†to be viewable¬†as it may continue to¬†help others¬†(everything is organized under the Miscarriage/Loss tab on my homepage). I never made a dime off the blog, and while I played with the thought here and there¬†of really devoting more time into the space and attempting to make it as a full-fledged blogger, my heart wasn’t in it in that way- I wrote just to write- nothing more. I also won’t be posting anymore. I don’t know if this will be temporary or permanent, but it’s what’s best for me right now. I’ve been toying with the idea of vlogs, but it kinda weirds me out as well, haha. We shall seeūüėČ

My Facebook page (personal and Living in Bliss) is also deactivated indefinitely, but you can follow me on Instagram as I continue on with my pregnancy and into mommyhood- ksingleton916. It’s private so I’ll have to approve itūüėČ

Finally, a huge thank you to everyone that’s found and followed me since Living in Bliss was created. Though I wrote about an array of other topics, the loss and IF community will always be important to me, and I’m rooting for those that are still in the midst of the darkness. A few things I’ve learned is that you HAVE to be your own advocate. Do not sit around and wait- if you feel like something just isn’t right or are hesitant about what your doctor says- do your research and get a second, or even third, opinion. I truly don’t think I’d be 8.5 months pregnant with this beautiful miracle if I had just waited and prayed for it to be “our time”. Science doesn’t work like that. Also, don’t give up hope in the meantime. This is easy to say, but incredibly difficult to do. Even during my worst moments, I’d remind myself that there is something bigger, something unimaginable, at the end of the tunnel- and that proved to be true when we found out we were expecting the cycle before IVF started. And lastly, miracles DO happen.¬†This goes beyond conception- it can be applied in many aspects of life:)

Alright- I wrote this nursery reveal post a week or so ago but hadn’t shared it yet when I decided this about the blog. I wasn’t planning on publishing it, but after some consideration, I really wanted to- I’m excited as hell about our little girl and thoroughly enjoyed rehashing everything I did (Tyler hung the stuff on the wall, lol). So that’s what I’ll be sharing in my little farewell post today!

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It¬†may seem a bit early to be completely done with the nursery (I actually finished it during week 30-I’m now in week 34!), but there was no need to wait and let me tell ya- it feels damn good! I was kind of a crazy person for two weeks after we returned from visiting family and having our baby shower with organizing, finishing the decorating, and writing thank you cards (my husband will vouch for this, haha). However, it feels awesome to know that her room is complete and ready to go so that I can spend the next several weeks working on little craft projects, reading, relaxing, and spending quality time with my husband. While I’ve absolutely LOVED decorating our daughter’s room, I’ve spent quite a few evenings running errands, re-doing old decorations, or organizing and it’s a relief to be done:)

I wanted to share photos of the baby’s room not only to look back on and remember exactly what I did, but also to show that it IS possible to decorate without breaking the bank. I find it fascinating how expensive shit can be sometimes, and although sometimes it’s not worth the time or money to recreate it yourself, sometimes it isūüėČ I also had some items that were special to me that I wanted to incorporate into the room which I’ll note below.

The theme of the nursery is shabby chic. I’m not into nursery themes AT ALL¬†so I hate labeling ours, but it does that that feel. ¬†I went back and forth on the style of room I wanted to create…I feel like this is something I’ve always struggled with as I have various tastes, haha. I love shabby chic/vintage/antique d√©cor, but I’d NEVER have my entire house decorated like that. It can be a bit much- cluttered, chaotic, and super grandma-ish feeling sometimes (sorry, but it’s the truth. In fact, Tyler told me that I’d definitely be able to get a job going around the country decorating nursing homes when I was searching for her crib bedding, haha).¬†Over the past few years, I’ve tended to gravitate towards very simple, minimal home d√©cor designs and lighter colors. Anyways, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go the shabby chic route or not, but I ultimately decided that I would. My goal was feminine without being too over-the-top girly, soft, and tranquil. I REALLY wanted a white or grayish color¬†convertible crib and matching furniture, but my husband liked espresso better. It wasn’t a huge deal to me so espresso it was (…and we may always have a second child in which I can get white if I still want it, haha).

One last thing- as you’ll see, I got most of my crafting supplies or miscellaneous items from Hobby Lobby. This company is totally ass backwards and I don’t agree with their ideas and practices at all; however, that doesn’t stop me from shopping there. Hypocritical, but whatever!:) Alright, here we go…Oh, and just so no one gets their panties in a wad or tries lecturing me- yes, the crib bumpers ARE in. We don’t plan on her actually sleeping in her crib until she’s a couple of months old and when the time comes, they WILL come off…and the blanket will not be used to cover her. We also hung shit above her bed, but it’s pretty high up and it’s secure. Same with the fabric garland. I know she’ll eventually start grabbing at things- the decor can be removed super easily. Just wanted to throw that out there:)

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View walking in

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S may stand for our last nameūüėČ Anyways, I painted the letter S an off white (although it looks whiter in these pics) and “believe” gold. My OBGYN at Fort Bliss, who was there with us during our first pregnancy and loss and throughout our TTC journey, always told me to believe. She herself went through IVF and said she had to keep reminding herself of that during the darkest times. I stumbled across the word at Hobby Lobby one day and instantly grabbed it- I knew I wanted to incorporate it in her bedroom somehow. I found the gold mirror and picture at Hobby Lobby on clearance for $8 each:)

 

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As you can see, I changed up the flower a bit (Hobby Lobby clearance).

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Tyler LOVED hanging this little gallery, hahaūüėČ

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We opted not to get the changer thing that can go on top of this dresser- it just seemed pointless and like a waste of money. I’ve seen fabric garlands on Pinterest and really wanted to make one, but I had the decor above her crib already done. It turned out perfect for her room!

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The mirror was $8 from Marshalls and initially silver. I painted it to match the gold above her bed (I’m not a huge fan of gold, but this is a bit softer).

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S was found at Kirklands on clearance for $4 before we moved. I painted the picture frame to match and found the burlap box at HB for $4. I bought stickers and little flowers to put on it- I used VERY little hot glue so that I can redo them someday if need be or use them for something else.

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Before any changes were made

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Soft gold all over and painted the flowers

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Finished:)

 

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Diapers will be in the rectangular storage unit that’s under the warmer for easy access. The doily that the warmer is on was made by my grandma (my mom’s mom). She loved to sew and crochet and I really wanted to use some in the baby’s room . It worked perfectly to cover up the plastic shelf thing! All diapering essentials are in the top middle drawer in an organizer.

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The bedding is Cotton Tales Tea Party. I LOVE the matching mobile:) The fitted sheet it came with is too busy for me, but I knew we’d need extra so I bought two sets of soft pink to alternate through.

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The bedding came with 9 pieces, including the valence. I can’t wait hold her in my arms in the glider that my best friend gifted us!

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My mom bought us the “Twinkle, twinkle little star, do you know how loved you are?” that she used at our baby shower:)

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Picture frame I redid. I put the poem that my dad gave to me at our shower in it- it fit perfect and meant so much to me. My mom found the spoon while I was visiting home when going through my box of old stuff. I gave it to her when I was little but have no recollection of it, haha. The little plant thing was on clearance at Marshalls- I painted the pot and added the pearls and pink crystal things to it. The gem lamp was bought for me by my husband when he was deployed- it’s beautiful! The doily was made by my late maternal grandmother.

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My mom got me the garden snow globe a few years ago. She also got me the flower décor in the back- I painted the pot and added the pearls to the bottom. The bunny was purchased on sale at HB (looked shabby chic- no importance, haha). Doily made by my grandma.

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Closer look.

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Pano view.

The bedroom is pretty damn small so options were limited. Also, we will be moving in September/October so I obviously wasn’t going to paint the room or add too much to the walls. However, I think it turned out well given our limited space and time in this house.¬†We bought a mosquito net (or crib netting, whatever the hell it’s called) in an off white that I wanted to put in the corner so it hung above her crib, but the room¬†is just too¬†freaking¬†small. It had¬†lace on the top part¬†and¬†was adorable and was a great deal on Amazon,¬†so we decided to save it so that it can hopefully be used in the future at our next place.¬†At first I thought there might be too much in the room, but it’s not cluttered looking- I HATE clutter! I only like a few things on dressers, countertops, whatever, otherwise, it just feels overwhelming to me. On the other hand, my husband thinks that if there is space somewhere, something must go there to fill it, haha. We’ve luckily found a happy medium over the yearsūüėČ

We asked for books in lieu of a card at the baby shower, and I’m SO grateful that people were more than happy to oblige. I’ll take photos once her closet is a bit more organized (still waiting to receive the rest of the stuff we bought), but she has two shelving units filled with books! I had to organize those according to size, of courseūüėČ

So that’s it! I really did have so much fun shopping for stuff, re-doing things, and incorporating items from my mom and grandma- I can’t believe how well they went with the colors! ¬†And aside from asking my husband to hang the shit on the walls, I did everything myself, although I’d text my mom often asking which she liked betterūüėČ Thank you, mama- I love you!¬†That’s one of the pitfalls of living so far away from family…not being able to do these special things together. I know I probably did this more for myself as she won’t remember it, but it brought me so much joy and peace…It IS possible to create a cute space for your little one without going balls out or breaking the bank! There were a few times I almost said¬†screw it¬†because I’d be looking on Pinterest or Facebook and see other nursery’s that were absolutely gorgeous and the comparison trap started making it’s way into my mind…but honestly, who gives a F? Almost everything in the room has a special meaning and I know that it’s redonkulous to go absolutely nucking futs¬†for a bedroom. The most important thing is having a healthy¬†baby- and she won’t care if it looks like it’s out of a magazine or notūüėČ

Thank you again for reading! I’ll still be reading other’s blogs, so I’m not disappearing for good. Hope everyone is well!

Did you decorate your baby’s room? Do a theme?

Did you have a decorating budget?

Has anyone done a vlog or used Periscope before (I like the idea of this as it deletes after 24 hours!).

 

Visitors After the Baby’s Arrival

I know visitor’s after the baby’s arrival can be a big issue for couples (I¬†even googled it and there are a ton of discussion boards with venting wives, lol)¬†and I’ve been asked a handful of times my stance on it, so that’s what I want to discuss today. I think it’s super important for spouses to be on the same page regarding and it’s something that should be discussed before the baby is born. The last thing you need is arguing with each other during an already stressful (yet amazing!) time if it could’ve been prevented.

Tyler and I are in a different situation that many couples because we live across the country from literally all family and close friends. That being said, we won’t have the issues with people just dropping by unannounced or last minute which is good in a way because that would probably¬†drive me freaking crazy, haha. I’ve written about it several times, but if you don’t already know, I have anxiety issues which have gotten much better, but they’re still there. I liked things planned ahead as much as possibleūüėČ Anyways, this also means that family or friends will be flying in to see us which is awesome but can be overwhelming as well. That being said, I think it’s best that family comes down in cycles and that¬†their visits do not overlap with each other.

Tyler and I downsized when we moved to Arizona. Though we have three bedrooms, they’re SMALL. We have our master, baby girl has her nursery and we have the spare room as the computer/treadmill/movie/army room. We physically were not able to have an extra bedroom for guests, but we honestly didn’t have many visitors in El Paso anyways and this time we’re only here for 8-9 months (will be moving again in September/October). That being said, we can’t have anyone staying with us when they visit. My brother and sister will be staying here- they’re young and I’d never expect them to pay for a hotel. Plus, they could care less if they slept on the couch or air mattress for a week! I can also tell them when they’re annoying the crap out of me and don’t feel like I have to entertain them or that they’ll be judging me on my new mothering, hahaūüėČ Just kidding…kinda:)

They’ll be here from June 25-July 3 which I think is great timing. If the baby comes on time, that gives us a month to get used to being with her by ourselves, learn her cues, etc. And I’m pretty sure that I won’t want to be taking her out the first few weeks. I’m hoping not to be an overprotective parent, but I really don’t see the point of taking a newborn out unless necessary. There isn’t much to do or good places to eat in our town anyways, haha.

My dad and his girlfriend plan on coming down in late July or August. That’ll be nice because by then I should hopefully be catching on to things¬†a bit. My mom is kinda on stand-by- she said she’ll be here whenever I want her to. We don’t think that Tyler will get the normal 10 day leave that you get in the military after your spouse has a baby. This is because Tyler is not in the “regular” army right now (I forgot the technical term)- he’s in Captain Career Course which is a six month school that can’t be interrupted. There may be some way to get around this, but this would prolong our stay here a bit, his graduation date, and I really want him to do what’s best for him. He won’t be deployed or in the field and I know he’ll be helping out as much as possible when he’s home (CCC means normal hours!). I’m thinking I want my mom to come right before or after my brother and sister…but it really all depends on when she makes her debut. If she comes early, then definitely before! Ideally, I’d like her to come about two weeks after she’s born (she’ll need to give work a heads up!), but we shall see.

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I’m eager and nervous to see how the dogs, especially Wrigley, react to the baby…

We’re super excited to have visitor’s this summer and for everyone to meet our new addition! I just want everyone to be happy and feel like they had sufficient time with us and her and not have to worry about “sharing”, lol, if that makes sense. We should find out where we PCS to next in June or July, and if possible, we want to visit home after that move. It all depends on where we are located. If it does work out, I’m hoping we will have her baptized then. My dad’s side of the family is Catholic, and my brother, sister, and I were all baptized and had our Communions and Confirmations. Though I’m not an active church-goer, it’s important to me that she’s baptized, and my best friend’s father is a Deacon at the Catholic church we used to go to. I think it’d be so awesome to have him do it! I’m getting ahead of myself though, haha.

We also bought a camera so that family or friends will be able to see the baby when we turn it on and she’s within range. At first I was super hesitant about this. I thought Tyler wanted it running all the time so family would be able to see her whenever they wanted. That definitely was not okay by me. I mean, what if I was breastfeeding her and my boobs were poppin out? Or she was having a crying fit and I couldn’t get her to stop? Or….I could list a ton of other scenarios that just wouldn’t be cool. He assured me that there will be certain times and we’ll let family know when we’ll be turning it on. I thought this was pretty much the same thing as Skype or FaceTime, but I just let him buy it and set it up if it’ll make him happyūüėČ

I’ll be sharing the nursery post next week so check back! Hope everyone has a great weekend.

What are your thoughts on visitor’s after having the baby?

Did you and your spouse have a plan? Was it difficult to come to an agreement?

Have any stories you want to share or advice for me?

 

Pregnancy Update (Weeks 30 & 31)

I’m not sure why, but the past two weeks crept by pretty damn slow. I guess that’s good for a change seeing as the past two months have flown by:) Not much is happening on our end. I’ve started making freezer meals/snacks for when baby girl arrives and noting healthy, easy meals that we can throw together. We’re good about eating healthy (well I am, haha), but some are a bit time consuming and I’m slow as hell in the kitchen, so I thought prepping a little beforehand would be beneficial:)

I’m measuring a bit small, so we have a growth scan set for Tuesday, April 5. I’m PRAYING everything looks great. It’s¬† worrisome, but I just have to believe all will be good- she could simply just be little and the doc said I’m tiny myself (although I’m 5’7″ so I’m not petite) and have remained within the guidelines of healthy weight gain…I got sucked in and googled¬†measuring small at 31 weeks and kinda freaked out…¬†Anyways, I’m trying not to think about that and just be positive, so let’s move on!

Maternity clothes?¬†Yep-¬†I don’t think this should even be a question anymore!

Stretch marks? Nope

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30 weeks.

Sleep: Sleep is good when I’m asleep aside from the weird¬†dreams that I still have. I’ve dreamed about¬†the two homes I lived in as a child and teen more times than I can count, and¬†SO many people that I haven’t seen or spoken to in years have made their way into my¬†dreams and it’s pretty fucking odd.¬†I’m getting up 2-3 times to pee but can generally fall right back asleep.¬†Sleeping on solely¬†my sides is a bit aggravating after¬†doing it¬†so¬†long as well. I tend to sleep more on my back and sometimes I wake up like that but¬†quickly move to my side. ¬†

Best moment: Driving up to the Phoenix area for a Cubs spring training game! The drive is a little less than three hours, so we headed up there early afternoon (it happened to fall on the day I turned 30 weeks), had an early dinner then went to the game.

Finishing her nursery! I know it’s a bit early, but since I’m not working or bedridden due to morning sickness all day, I have lots of time on my hands:) I absolutely love it and find myself standing or sitting in there throughout the day smiling¬†in disbelief¬†that this is really happening. I’ll be sharing pictures in an upcoming post.

We also received the completion discount on our Amazon registry so we ordered the rest of the stuff! Everything totaled up to being over $750 (crazy…), but after a¬†few¬†gift cards we received¬†and¬†using our 15% off, it was around¬†$400 or so (the convertible car seat and Ergo Baby 360 took up a good portion of that cost. If anyone is interested, we went with a Diono car seat after researching it for a LONG time, but our stroller travel system is Britax).¬†Finishing the Babies R Us registry is next (waiting for the completion coupon)¬†and thankfully, there isn’t¬†TOO much left on that one, and then we’re done! Well, for now, haha.

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Cubs Spring training game! 30 weeks.

 

Miss anything? Aside from family, nope.

Movement: Yes- although honestly, I don’t like this point. I feel like she goes through phases of being active and sometimes I go hours without feeling her. It’s sometimes nerve-wracking, especially because I’m paranoid…I make sure to count her movements though.¬†

Food cravings: Carbs- brown rice, mac and cheese, and bagels. Fruit- especially strawberries and pineapple! Smoothies are still really good as well, especially because I need the¬†extra calories¬†but sometimes things don’t sound so great.

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Nausea has made it’s way back. It’s not constant like it was early on in the pregnancy, but I’ve¬†been feeling sick¬†every day at some point- sometimes it’s all¬†morning or afternoon long, and other times it’s only for an hour or two. However, there isn’t¬†much that sounds absolutely disgusting-woo!

Workouts: Lightweights, some core exercises, and short walks with Wrigley.¬†My OB said short walks are fine, just nothing that puts me too long on my feet or that’s¬†strenuous.

Showing? Yep.¬†This shouldn’t be a question anymore either!

Gender: Girl:) Nor should this, haha.

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Symptoms:¬†Still having Braxton-Hicks quite often and I had a second fetal fibronectin test at 30w5d which came back negative, so the doctor just said continue drinking plenty of water (I’ve always drank a shit ton of water and that’s pretty much all I drink- no issues there) and if I feel more than 6 an hour to come in.

I’m pretty fatigued in the afternoon, but I heard and read that this is normal at this stage.

Belly button in or out? Not completely out, but almost there!

Wedding ring on or off? On

Emotions: I’ve had a handful of hard moments the past couple of weeks.¬†I

Looking forward to: Starting birthing classes! The first one is April 4 and I’m hoping I’ll learn some things and they’ll help us prepare a bit.¬†The ultrasound on the¬†5th, though I’m nervous as well.

What‚Äôs Going on with Baby: Baby should be measuring over 16 inches long and weighing over 3 pounds and will be experiencing a growth spurt soon. She can turn her head and her body is beginning to fill out as she is putting on more fat. She is sleeping for longer stretches of time and her five senses can work now (although she won’t be able to smell until she is out of the womb).

Birth Plan…or Lack Thereof?

Now that I’m well into the third trimester (still feels so very surreal to type), I’ve had quite a few people ask me about my birthing plan and if I’m going for a “natural” birth or not. Let me first say that I’m not judging what anyone does. I applaud the ladies that choose not to be medicated, but quite frankly, I really don’t care and I don’t find that a natural birth automatically means good mother. I do, however, find labor and delivery stories interesting, but everyone is different! And most of the women that I’ve talked to and that have¬†gone through a natural birth haven’t had any complications, any moments when the baby or mother’s health was at risk, or weren’t in labor for like 30 hours. With that being said, this is my birth plan:

I’m¬†just gonna go¬†with the flow.

Yep, that’s it. I’m not typing out a long ass plan or my utmost desires, although I will obviously let my doctor know my thoughts.¬†And here’s my reasoning for it.

This is something that is not going to be in my control. I have no idea if I’ll go into preterm labor, or have to be induced, or if my water will break on it’s own, etc. This will obviously be my first labor and delivery, so I have NO idea what to expect. I’m sure I’ll feel a bit more confident once I take the labor classes and read that section in my books, but it’ll probably all go flying out the window once the time actually comesūüėČ

I’ve had two LEEP procedures done- one when I was only 19 and another when I was 22 or so. The gyno that performed them told me that it may cause some issues during labor, but I had to get them done and honestly wasn’t sure if I even wanted kids back then so I didn’t think twice about it (yes, there was a long period in my life when I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a mom. I was going through my own shit and despite making lots of dumbass decisions, I knew I wasn’t fit to be the mother I’d want to be at that point).

My OB at Fort Bliss and my new OB here also verified what I was told years ago and went into a bit more detail about it. Scar tissue builds up in the cervix (where the LEEP is performed to laser out the precancerous cells) which can hinder the labor process. A woman that has had a LEEP may not show any progress in dilation for a long time, then all of the sudden the scar tissue breaks apart. So, she could be stuck at 2-3cm for hours, then the scar tissue snaps and she can be almost fully dilated. Or, there could be so much that she never fully dilates on her own. Fun, huh? Haha. Yeahhh, that sounds like it may hurt just a wee bit, so if I happen to be one of those woman, a natural birth probably won’t be in the cards for me, haha. This doesn’t happen to every woman that has had LEEPS before, but it does happen. I was also recently told that they let women that have had LEEPS labor a bit¬†longer than normal women because of this.

Now, I obviously want to do everything possibly to avoid a C-section, but I cannot control what the baby is going to do. If the baby’s health or mine own is ever at risk and a C-section is needed, I’m completely fine with it- safety is my priority. Same with my husband. He’s on board with whatever I want and doesn’t care if I want an epidural or not. I asked if he thought I’d be less of a woman if I decide I want meds, and he looked at me like I had three heads, haha (and asked why I wouldn’t want anything, haha).

I want to be as present as possibly, and it would be awesome if everything went smoothly and I were able to work through the pain on my own if there are no complications. But I’m not going to beat myself up over it. All we want is our baby girl, healthy and safe in our arms, no matter what route we take for her to get here:)

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Haha…we shall see what happens when the time comesūüėČ

There are also a few other things that I’ll mention to the doctors/nurses as well:

*I’m hoping I don’t have to stay in bed the whole time I’m in labor and I can walk around a bit, but who knows, I may want to lay in ass in bed. I know after an epidural you’re bed ridden though so we shall see.

*Tyler will be the only person present in the room. My mom will be coming down a couple of weeks after she’s born (I’m hoping when he goes back to work to help me out!), and it would’ve been nice to have her down here for that, but it is what it is. Plus, I’m pretty adamant on just having Tyler in the room and he agrees- just us.

That’s about it!

Did you have a natural or medicated birth?

 

What did your birthing plan consist of?

Is there anything else I should take into consideration? I read some birthing plans online and nothing else really seemed applicable, but I’m sure I didn’t think of something! I’ll be starting a six week course where I’ll learn more about what the hell I’m doing:)

Who was in the room when you were delivering?

 

Second Trimester Pregnancy Eats

Although I’m¬†a few weeks¬†into¬†my third trimester, I’m wondering if my food aversions and cravings (or lack thereof) will change as they did in the middle of the second trimester, especially since the nausea has come back every once in a while. Because I experienced morning sickness longer than some, I only ate really bland foods the first five months. However, the past two and a half months have been pretty great and though there are still things that I normally like that sound freaking gross or I’ll get sick every once in a while, it’s SO nice to have more options again. I’m all about giving into cravings and splurging every now and then, but the baby gets what I eat and that’s important to me. I don’t want her hating fruits and veggies like her daddyūüėČ That will not be tolerated in this household, haha.

I’m sharing what meals and snacks have been appealing to me¬†since all day sickness subsided¬†as I know how much everyone caresūüėČ No, but really, I find it so intriguing how pregnancy messes with your taste buds, and I want to remember all of this shit in case it doesn’t happen again!

Breakfast is typically:

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Greek yogurt, granola, banana, and vanilla flavored almonds

A bowl of cereal (Honey Bunches of Oats or a Multigrain Cheerios or Special K variety) with sliced banana

An egg scramble with spinach, tomato, and green pepper, sprinkled with black pepper and oregano and Asiago cheese and a slice of buttered whole wheat toast

Plain scrambled eggs with cheddar and black pepper (Tyler makes the best!) and buttered toast

Whole wheat toast or an English muffin with crunchy peanut butter and sliced banana sprinkled with cinnamon

An Asiago bagel (I stocked up before we left El Paso- our Super Target sold fresh Einstein bagels and I raided the this kind for a week before we left and froze them, haha. SO good!) with plain cream cheese.

I’ve done overnight oats which I normally love a few times, but it just doesn’t sound appealing, nor does oatmeal.

Lunch is sometimes hard for me. I get super tired if I have a big meal in the middle of the day and I simply can’t eat huge ass portions anymore without feeling sick as I get full fast with my growing belly. Because of this, I often times have snack plates instead¬†throughout the day¬†that consist of:

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A fruit- a sliced honey crisp or pink lady apple, pear, grapes, or a couple of cuties

Veggies- raw carrots, cherry (or are they grape?) tomatoes, sliced cucumber

A dip- Greek yogurt ranch or hummus

Sliced cheese (cheddar, Asiago, Colby, or pepperjack)

Crackers or pita chips

1% milkfat cottage cheese

Sliced hard boiled egg

Mixed nuts

It’s not all of that- I pick what sounds good that day and make the plate, but I make sure there’s always a carb, protein, and fat.

I make homemade egg salad (hardboiled eggs, avocado, plain Greek yogurt, with black pepper, dill, and paprika- I think that’s all I put in it, haha) and have that¬†with a sourdough English muffin.

Homemade chicken salad with shredded chicken, avocado, plain Greek yogurt, sliced grapes, celery, chia seeds (weird, it works), lemon juice, black pepper and some other spices. I’ll eat with an English muffin or crackers.

Regular salads. Since I have a hard time with chicken, I usually just use a hardboiled egg as the protein source

Smoothies are awesome for me for an afternoon snack as well!

Like I’ve said, I’ve never been a huge lunch person. Even when I was working, during my breaks I’d still often times pack stuff like this and nibble throughout the day:)

Dinners are normal. The first trimester I’d eat whatever sounded like I wouldn’t get sick from, but as I’ve noted in my updates, I don’t really have any aversions- what sounds gross at the time is pretty inconsistent. We’ve been grilling out a lot, making homemade pizzas, tilapia (just once a week)¬†with veggies, pasta, etc. Tyler makes awesome chicken and while sometimes the thought gags me, I can usually do chicken in a wrap or crepe (I LOVE savory crepes!).

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Mocktails have been refreshing as well!

So that’s it! Nothing exciting, but if we are ever blessed with another baby I thought it would be interesting to see if I’m able to eat the same things during the second trimester:)

What foods did you love/hate during your pregnancy?

 

 

 

 

Pregnancy Update (Weeks 27-29)

The past couple of weeks have been busy and I honestly just kept putting off this update, so I’m highlighting three weeks instead of two! Tyler and I flew home during weeks 27-28 and since returning back to Arizona, I’ve been like a crazy person washing, organizing, and setting up things that we received from our baby shower and delivered to our house. My mom threw us the most amazing baby shower, and it was awesome to see so many people! We don’t see extended family and friends often since we live across the country so those that took time out of their day or even traveled for it meant a lot to us. I hate being the center or attention (my anxiety goes through the roof!), but I felt so different that day as we were celebrating our daughter. It was absolutely perfect, although I wish there had been more time since there were so many people that came and I wanted to talk with relatives and friends a bit more. I feel like after I opened gifts, everyone was cleaning up and that was it! Anyways, we’re truly grateful for all of the love and gifts we’ve received:) I will be sharing photos in another post within the next couple of weeks. I’ll be 30 weeks tomorrow- Woo!!!

Maternity clothes? Yes! I can still wear normal workout and pajama shorts below my belly and bigger shirts, but for the most part, it’s maternity.

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28 weeks.

Stretch marks? Nope! Seriously, do genetics have something to do with this?

Sleep: Pretty good. I missed my snoogle while we were away, haha. Still waking up 1-2 times a night to pee, but I sleep SO soundly. However, my dreams are still often times crazy as ever.

Best moment: Our baby shower!! Spending the week with family. Getting clothes and other baby items washed and organized in her drawers and closet. Her room is coming together well- it’s almost done! We’re waiting on one more dresser to be delivered, and then I’ll be able to finish the last of it. We figured it’d be best in the long run to have a complete bedroom set for her (minus the nights stand for now). I’ve also been crafting and giving some decorations a face lift to match her bedroom. I know, I’m lame- but I love it! AND it’s a bit more meaningful and saves some moneyūüėČ

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After a day of baby shower prep…then on our way to the celebration! haha

Miss anything? Family- it was so hard to say goodbye and come back to Arizona. I’m missing my dippy eggs on toast with avocado and cheddar cheese and sushi every once in a while, tooūüėČ

Movement: Yes, although during week 29 (this past week), I hadn’t felt anything in 2.5 days. Like at all. Tyler told me to give the nurses line a call on Wednesday (his birthday!), and they told me to go straight to labor and delivery (we checked her heartbeat on our fetal doppler at home, but she still didn’t budge and she usually goes crazy!). Once I was hooked up, the nurse noticed I was having contractions and asked if I had been having them at home. I have been- sometimes A LOT during the day, but they didn’t hurt and I didn’t think anything of it.

Well, they ended up doing a fetal non-stress test to see if I was having more than 6 in an hour…and I was. So they performed a fetal fibronectin test and thankfully, it came back negative (if it’s positive, that’s usually a good indicator that you’ll go into labor within the next 14 days). I was prepared for this test to be God awful after the nurse told me it can be really uncomfortable (they stick a speculum in you without ANY lube, then take a swab of your cervix)…but it actually wasn’t that bad! She also checked my cervix and I’m 1cm dilated, but I was told not to worry unless it starts progressing- so I’m notūüėČ The nurse said to take breaks often when I’m on my feet and I have to monitor the contractions. They gave me 10mg of Procardia, but it didn’t completely stop the contractions- I’ve had a few each day since, but no more than 6 in an hour. I have an OB appointment next Thursday, so we shall see!

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29 weeks.

Food cravings: I got my fix of Panera Bread, lemon rice soup, and Gelsosomo’s Pizza (my favorite!) when we were home! I’ve been loving fruit (plain or in a yogurt bowl) and homemade breakfast sandwiches as well. Brownies sound good and I had some when I was home, but I haven’t made any for us yet. Still…nothing that I must have now!

Anything making you feel queasy or sick: Not really….certain things just don’t sound good still (Mexican food, marinara, certain desserts).

Workouts: Just light weights at home.

Showing? Yep.

Gender: Girl:)

Symptoms:¬† See above in the Movement section. I’m also much more fatigued than I was the second trimester. I could probably take a nap most again, but I haven’t yet. Also, I haven’t talked about pregnancy weight gain, but I really don’t think it should be a private matter if you’re comfortable with it, and at my last appointment (week 28), I was up 15 pounds (they obviously weigh you fully clothed). My doctor was great with this as I’m measuring normal and was actually happy to hear that I’ve been eating a healthy diet for myself and the baby. Not that you shouldn’t indulge (believe me, I AM getting some ice cream tonight!), but she said it makes a world of a difference when you eat good throughout pregnancy, not just in weight, but in how the woman feels. Anyways, she said I was right on track, and if I gain a pound a week throughout the remainder of the pregnancy, that will put me at around 25 pounds total which is within healthy range. I don’t really care, but I want to look back at remember these little things:)

Belly button in or out? It’s starting to stick out! This happened over the past week (week 29). Will it go back to normal after the baby?!

Wedding ring on or off? On

Emotions: Really happy most of the time (unless I’m hungry or tired, haha)…but I do have moments when I feel really sad that my family isn’t closer during all of this. I know my mom will come down a few weeks after the baby is born (I want the families to come down in rotations- not all at once. I think Tyler’s parents will be the first, then my mom, and hopefully then my brother and sister, and my dad and his girlfriend in late July or August. My brother and sister will be staying with us (we don’t have an extra bedroom at this place, but they’re fine on the couch or blow up mattress, haha), but everyone else will be staying at a hotel which is great because there are so many only minutes away! Plus, I think that will help without me being too overwhelmed with everythingūüėČ

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Me and my sis getting ready to shop!

Looking forward to: Hitting 30 weeks tomorrow!!! We’re going to Phoenix for a Cubs spring training game for the day and I’m excited to spend the day with my man going out to eat, hitting up Ikea, and seeing the game. I’m also taking a four hour beginners photography class on post next Saturday. I’m anxious about it (I get weird when I’m out of my comfort zone, haha), but we bought a Nikon 3300 last year and I NEED to learn how to use it! I have a book, but I still don’t really know what the hell I’m doing and I want to take our own pictures of the baby (that shit is expensive).

What‚Äôs Going on with Baby:¬†Baby weighs about 2.5 pounds and is about 15 inches long. Her muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and she is now very active. She’ll double or even triple in weight from now until birth!

Pregnancy and Body Image

As with most expecting first-time moms, I’ve read a lot of books or articles online focused on pregnancy, child birth, and becoming a parent. I get daily and weekly updates delivered to my email about what’s going on with baby and mother during this time, and these notifications are often times filled with tips to help make this time in your life a bit easier (I actually didn’t sign up for that stuff until I was 20 weeks due to my fear of loss). A few weeks ago, there was a segment on body image during pregnancy and how it can often times be a difficult time for women. This surprised me and got me thinking about my own current body image.

Now, before I talk about how I feel, I want it known that I completely understand why it could be a hard time for females. Our bodies are completely changing and weird things are happening, the scale is going up, we’re tired, don’t feel like ourselves, and can’t work out like we used to. However, I absolutely love my pregnant body. Seeing growth each week makes me happy beyond words. Yes, I’m one of those annoying women.

Despite living in constant fear, battling all day sickness until 5.5 months, and dealing with the cervical length scare, I think I’ve had an¬†uncomplicated pregnancy which probably contributes to how I feel about my body. I’m no dummy though. Some women may be thinking that it’s easy for me to feel this way because of the way my body looked pre-pregnancy. That may contribute to it as I was not carrying around extra weight, but what most people probably don’t know is that I’ve struggled with body image issues for years, and most of the time is was subconsciously. I didn’t realize my disordered eating and over exercising were issues because it was never about the number on the scale- it was about having control over a piece of my life. Therapy will teach you quite a few valuable things along the wayūüėČ

Now, I’m not going to get into my¬†history because this is about how I feel now, but when I think about the past fifteen years of my life, I’ve come a long way the past year and a half. After we lost our first and we started having trouble conceiving, I knew I needed to stop exercising as much and put on some weight. I’ve discussed this in¬†previous blog posts which can be found under the miscarriage/infertility tab on my homepage. To summarize- it was mentally challenging to slow down on the exercise, and at first I wouldn’t accept that this could be a culprit because many women conceive while going about their normal fitness routine or even in the midst of training for marathons. But one day it hit me that I’m not most women- my body was in stress mode and I needed to gain about ten pounds (my lowest body weight ever was scary, and I had no idea until I had to step on the scale at the doctor’s appointment). Despite gaining the ten pounds and refraining from all intense interval training and long runs, I still wasn’t ovulating on my own which was super discouraging and I’d sometimes wonder what the fucking point was. I was upset with my body for not doing what it’s supposed to do. I truly think that all of the shit that happened pre-pregnancy has helped given me a great body image and self confidence during this pregnancy.

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25 weeks.

Don’t get me wrong- I have moments when I look at my arms or thighs and see that they’re not as defined, or my legs or feet or face swell and it’s not pretty, or wonder if my husband really does still think I’m sexy. However, I have a baby inside of me. A fucking baby. The baby I hoped and prayed for and dreamed¬†of for two years, every single day. And although I ate whatever I could tolerate the first 22 weeks or so, now that I don’t have as many bouts of nausea (ironically, as I’m writing this post, I feel super sick), I want to nourish our baby with healthy, wholesome foods. Yes, I ate a small blizzard last night, but I even it out with nutritious meals and snacks as I know¬†she eats what I eat.¬†I’ll be sharing a blog post soon about foods that were great for me the past couple of months!

Also, I’m way out of shape, but going on walks and bike rides and just getting outside can make a huge difference. I’ve mentioned in my pregnancy updates that I do light weights and certain exercises (I don’t know the names of them but my doctor showed me and there are YouTube videos for exercise during pregnancy) to help my core which will hopefully help during birth. I know I’ll get back into shape (but not get to such an unhealthy body weight again!) after she’s born when I’m given the go ahead to start working out again, and I’m embracing my new body.

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26 weeks pregnant. Au natural, haha. I don’t think I’ve posted myself in a bathing suit on social media in years:/

Though I’m still worried, am praying for the rest of the pregnancy and labor and delivery to go well, and just want a healthy baby in my arms, I’m so incredibly¬†content right now. Feeling her¬†kick and play inside of me literally still stops me in my in tracks, and I place my hand on my belly¬†and smile. THAT makes it all worth it- the weight gain, brittle hair and nails, dry skin, bleeding gums, monstrous leaky boobs, fatigue, food aversions- everything.

I’m so glad that I started¬†documenting my belly growth, although I¬†wish I would’ve started around¬†10¬†weeks¬†instead of 12.¬†I got the idea from a blog, Simply Summer Ann, but her photos are way better, haha. Nonetheless, it’s a cute way to track the pregnancy and see the changes in a sexy, yet classy way rather than just regular bump pictures in normal clothes.

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Pregnancy is a miraculous thing and I’m not ashamed to embrace it. I may be one of those annoying women that blasts pics on Facebook and Instagram, but I’ve shared our struggles and bad times, so I simply just want to share the good. I will NOT be posting pics of the baby all the time though, and I’m really not sure if I’ll continue on with the blog. We shall see. I’m wanting to start a second Instagram account strictly for baby bump and baby pics, but for some reason I can’t add an account on my iPhone6 which is super annoying. I want the accounts linked to to the same email to make switching over easier, so if anyone knows why the iPhone isn’t able to utilize this feature yet, please let me know! I about whipped my phone across the room last nightūüėČ Just kidding!

How do you feel about body image and pregnancy?

Did you have a different experience than me?